Cake to Cyrus! Old Mongols need cake, too! Um...meat cake!

Alexandra 18 years ago
Happy b-day Cyrus *cheers*
Alfarinn 18 years ago
And just for Cyrus...a special birthday song.

The Birthday Dirge
AKA "The Mongolian Birthday Chant"
Tune of : "Volga Boatmen"

Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere.

BUT! Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

BUT! Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Fear and gloom and darkness but
No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

(Certainly you get it by now, not going to keep typing it.)

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake

You're a period cook, it's true
Ask the beetles in the stew

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Now your jail-bait days are done
Let's go out and have some fun!

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe

You must marry very soon
Baby's due the next full moon

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

Were I sitting in your shoes
I'd go out and sing the blues

They stole your gold, your sword, your house
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

Tho' you're turning 29
Age to you is like fine wine

So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your good friend

Now you've lived another year
Age to you is like stale beer

So another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!

So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near.

Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say

Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down

It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

See the wrinkles on your face
Like the pattern of fine lace

Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies that you 'et

I'm a leper, can't you see
Get your birthday kiss from me.

Burn, then rape by firelight
Add -romance- to life tonight.

Pay attention, you must learn
First you pillage, THEN you burn.

Children dying far and near
They say that cancer's caused by beer.

Children dying everywhere
Women crying in despair.

Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row.

Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near.

May the children in the street
Be your barbecuing meat.

We, your friends will never tell
That your body has gone to hell.

At your age most folks go blind
You've kept your sight, but lost your mind.

While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you

We love children, yes we do
Boiled or baked or in a stew.

When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go.


If there be verses we have missed
You can add them to the list.

I pray you pass your verse along
And thus improve our merry song.

I figure that from a Norseman to a Mongol it would be most appropriate

Remember! Pillage THEN Burn!
Mai 18 years ago
Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu! Cyrus-san! ^_^
Ginnie 18 years ago
Happy Birthday!
Pakpao 18 years ago
I know that song!

*sings the first few versus very off key*

Many happy returns, may your yurt never be trampled by a yak!

You can BBQ your cake over the smoking remains of a pillaged village. It will be yummy.
Fallon 18 years ago
Happiest of days! Enjoy!
Simon Huntington 18 years ago
Happy birthday Cyrus =)
Apollyon 18 years ago
Happy birthday Cyrus )
Artemis Bellezone 18 years ago
What?! Cyrus had a birthday? Doesn't Anantya have rules against birthdays and fun?

*Artemis loves his Mummy Dearest, honest*

Happy Birthday Cyrus. Though the event has caused some amount of concern on my part. A man can never feel too safe when both his best friend and girlfriend know the Mongolian Birthday Chant.
Morrigan Kinsey 18 years ago

Happy birthday!
Amberelle DeEspionne 18 years ago
Happy birthday Cyrus! =)
Fiona 18 years ago
Happy Birthday!!!! Hope you get to have as much fun as I'm gonna have celebrating tonight!!
Aishe 18 years ago
Woohoo, happy birthday.
Cyrus 18 years ago
Thank you all. I dont feel a day over a thousand!

Love the song. Thanks Alfarinn. I think my favorite line was "May the candles on your cake. Burn like cities in your wake"

Muhahaha! Wheres my presants?! I was hoping for a pryamid of decapitated head. Or some catnip.
Alec Devereaux 18 years ago
Well, that doesn't transfer well digitally, so here's some kitty porn!

Oy...from - kitty from Istanbul. Posted with permissions. :P
Ginnie 18 years ago
Ok that is just wrong....
Ginnie 18 years ago
*hands Cyrus a small package.*

"Just remember I'm not you're dealer, dude."
Alec Devereaux 18 years ago
Well, he's got the pr0n, he's got the nip. Who is going to step up and give him a pile o' heads? :P
Alfarinn 18 years ago
Did you just ask who was giving Cyrus head? O_O I suppose that would be the next step after the p0rn and the drugs...
Alec Devereaux 18 years ago

Well, I'd imagine he wouldn't mind *that* as a birthday present either, but I already got him a gift, so it'll have to be someone else in any case!