Was it a bad thing that she had almost been hoping for something to go horribly wrong tonight? Well, work wise. Why was there never an emergency when you needed one? It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Artemis, she was just confused. And when confused, avoidance was one of her favorite coping methods.
Besides, she'd just gotten used to the idea what he was gone and that was the end of it and she could completely ignore the idea of any kind of relationship for another hundred years or so. It had worked so far. But no, he was back now. Her creator was back now... why the hell did every one come back all of a sudden?!
Deciding, reluctantly, that avoidance wasn't going to work here, after all at the very least their departments worked together on occasion. So, Pak refrained from making one last desperate call looking for something that had exploded and just got dressed. When she was done her hair hung down her back on one thick French braid, she settled on black jeans, her favorite red V-neck cashmere sweater and some red flats. She had -no- idea where this was going and though being comfy might be called for.
Locking her beta bowl safe inside a kitchen cabinet, she had to keep the cat away from it when she wasn't around somehow, she left. MARI as always was a tremendous help with directions and soon enough she was just staring at his door. Squeezing her eyes tight shut she knocked, it was more a soft and inquiring and less of a 'this is the police we have a search warrant' kind of knock. He could have changed his mind and just this once in her life she might not be pushy.
Tell Me a Story...
Today had been long one. The whole week really, but today was especially so. Artemis wasn't sure how much had to do with his work load and how much had to do with his mixed feeling about this evening. There was so much that Pak didn't know before, but now tere was even more. The past couple of years had changed him in so many ways, and yet had reinforced his nature in others. Still, he wasn't sure how much he could tell Pak. So, much would depend on when Alfarinn returned. Artemis knew that the past couple of years had been difficult on his friend too, and that troubled him. There would no doubt be a debriefing between himself, Alfarinn, and Christian, when Alfarinn returned. Until then....
"You are sad?"
Artemis looked up from where he had been staring at the ground. He was surprised to find that he was leaning against the kitchen counter. Feeling the soft touch of an inquiring paw against his arm, he turned his head to meet a pair of piercing green eyes. Pascal was a lean tuxedo cat. All black, except for a white patch on his chest. Amused by this, Artemis had given him a jeweled collar. It was all CZ except for two polished onyx stones in the front. Artemis reached out a hand and gently pet his companion on the head. Cats were generally quite astute. Though the bond between them was stronger than the connection he shared with other cats, Artemis's time away had made it difficult for Pascal to master the complexity of human emotion.
"Maybe a little bit. But mostly, I am concerned about my friend. Do you remember Alfarinn?"
"Spider?"
Artemis nodded as he scratched Pascal behind the ear. Alfarinn had given Pascal a toy spider that hopped around when you pressed the button.
"Yes, he gave you the spider. Probably so you would like him more than me."
"You give me dead fish to eat"
Cat logic. Artemis wasn't sure if that meant that Pascal liked him best because he provided food, or if he and Alfarinn were completely different people and easy enough to tell apart. Then again, it could just be a hint. Laughing, Artemis went to the refrigerator and pulled out the remainder of a salmon fillet that had been cut into thirds. Grabbing the skillet from where it had been neatly put away, Artemis placed the salmon on the stove to cook. He then added some rosemary and some vegetables for extra nutrition. It was sad really. A top of the line kitchen, and he really only used it to cook for his cat.
While the fish simmered on low heat, Artemis went to his bedroom, taking off the black tank top he had been wearing as he went. The tanks were easy enough and comfortable to wear when in the lab, but not appropriate for tonight. This was one night, where things needed to go smoothly. Reaching into his closet, he pulled out a white linen button-up. He walked bare chested back toward the kitchen, leaving the linen shirt resting on one of the bar stools while he finished preparing Pascal's meal.
"We are having company over tonight."
"Spider?"
Artemis laughed, "No, it's not Alfarinn."
He turned off the stove and began cutting up the fish and vegetables on a small china plate. Again, the irony of having all of this finery and using it mostly for his cat. Setting the plate on the counter to cool a bit, he glanced down at Pascal who was waiting patiently with his eyes fixed on the plate. Artemis couldn't help but smile. Morrigan had always gifted him with a cat when his current companion passed away. Like Pascal, they were usually tuxedo cats. She had said their black and white color and sleek physique reminded her of him. Pascal even more so, with bright green eyes similar to his own.
Artemis stepped around the waiting cat to the wine cooler. The one part of the kitchen he actually used for himself. He had selected a nice Riesling for tonight. It was a sweet desert wine, from his own vineyard. An older bottle, but it had been a good year that year. Artemis expected a knock at the door any minute, so he set out the wine and a couple of glasses. Looking around the kitchen and living room, he wondered if there was anything else he should get or provide to make things go well tonight.
(ooc: Green = Pascal)
Pakpao
13 years ago
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Hearing the knock at the door, he picked up the plate of chopped salmon and placed it on the floor for Pascal. There was now a faint scent of rosemary and salmon in the air. Artemis hoped it wasn't too offensive to his guest. Picking up the linen shirt, he began putting it on as he walked to the door. Opening it, he gave the woman waiting outside a shy smile.
"Please come in"
Artemis stepped back to let Pak into his apartment. Once she was inside, he quietly shut the door and finished buttoning his shirt before turning back to her.
"Please forgive my disarray. Things ran a bit long today. I just walked in not long ago."
He was rambling and knew. It was funny. After everything he had been through, she had him more nervous than the pirates. Stepping to her side so that he was no longer talking to her back, he gestured to the sofa.
"Would you like to sit down? A glass of wine?"
This was awkward. When he had first returned, they had fallen easily back into their old banter. But this was different. Now that they had to confront the truth, and quite possibly his past, it wasn't as easy. No ridiculous dance was going to make it better. Maybe his usual blunt and straight to the point tactic was best. But, he could at least let her sit down and enjoy her wine for a moment first.
"Please come in"
Artemis stepped back to let Pak into his apartment. Once she was inside, he quietly shut the door and finished buttoning his shirt before turning back to her.
"Please forgive my disarray. Things ran a bit long today. I just walked in not long ago."
He was rambling and knew. It was funny. After everything he had been through, she had him more nervous than the pirates. Stepping to her side so that he was no longer talking to her back, he gestured to the sofa.
"Would you like to sit down? A glass of wine?"
This was awkward. When he had first returned, they had fallen easily back into their old banter. But this was different. Now that they had to confront the truth, and quite possibly his past, it wasn't as easy. No ridiculous dance was going to make it better. Maybe his usual blunt and straight to the point tactic was best. But, he could at least let her sit down and enjoy her wine for a moment first.
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak slid in the door with a little half smile and immediately slid her shoes off and tucked them into a corner. It was just habit.
The smell of cooking was unexpected and she spent a good solid second or two trying to remember if they had said this was a dinner thing and if she was supposed to bring something. Boy she hoped not because other than cat food, a fish and some microwave popcorn her cupboard was bare.
"Let's go with I'm early and then you're off the hook."Â?
She said with a dismissive shrug. It seemed like they both might be feeling a bit awkward and/or nervous so there was no point in worrying about little things right now.
"Both seem like really good ideas. Unless you need help in the kitchen. I can still mostly use one."Â?
A clove seemed like a really good idea too, but she didn't smoke in other people's homes so she'd deliberately left those at home. She did have her lighter though, that and her phone. Every one had their security blankets.
The smell of cooking was unexpected and she spent a good solid second or two trying to remember if they had said this was a dinner thing and if she was supposed to bring something. Boy she hoped not because other than cat food, a fish and some microwave popcorn her cupboard was bare.
"Let's go with I'm early and then you're off the hook."Â?
She said with a dismissive shrug. It seemed like they both might be feeling a bit awkward and/or nervous so there was no point in worrying about little things right now.
"Both seem like really good ideas. Unless you need help in the kitchen. I can still mostly use one."Â?
A clove seemed like a really good idea too, but she didn't smoke in other people's homes so she'd deliberately left those at home. She did have her lighter though, that and her phone. Every one had their security blankets.
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis gave Pak another shy smile. At least she had taken his disorganized behavior and appearance in stride. Shaking his head, Artemis indicated the black and white cat happily eating salmon in the kitchen entrance. A pair of bright green eyes looked up and considered Pak for a moment before returning to the meal. Pascal did not like to miss anything and this location had been a compromise. The precocious feline had voted for a prime spot on the counter overlooking the living room. At least from here, he would know where Artemis was and could either participate or ignore as he saw fit.
"No need. The menu has been taken care of. Although if you would like something, I can bake some chicken. I am afraid Pascal is eating the last of the salmon"
"You gave me the last of the salmon"
Artemis rolled his eyes and laughed as he stepped to the counter to retrieve the two glasses and the bottle of wine.
"I stand corrected. I gave him the last of the salmon."
He was about to open the bottle of wine when he realized just how odd that might have sounded. Some people hear or see dead people, he heard cats. After closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath, he turned to her with a sheepish grin.
"Yep, I am one of those crazy cat people. Not only do I cook for my cat and talk to him, but he talks back. I hear his voice in my head."
He hoped that Pak would understand, even through the jest, that he had savage savant abilities and wasn't just crazy. No, he wasn't just crazy, he had other issues too. If she didn't run from the apartment screaming, then perhaps he could explain a bit further.
"So, wine?"
(ooc: poor Artemis. He is worried about being a crazy cat person, and the first thing that pops into my head is Stephen King's Sleepwalkers)
"No need. The menu has been taken care of. Although if you would like something, I can bake some chicken. I am afraid Pascal is eating the last of the salmon"
"You gave me the last of the salmon"
Artemis rolled his eyes and laughed as he stepped to the counter to retrieve the two glasses and the bottle of wine.
"I stand corrected. I gave him the last of the salmon."
He was about to open the bottle of wine when he realized just how odd that might have sounded. Some people hear or see dead people, he heard cats. After closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath, he turned to her with a sheepish grin.
"Yep, I am one of those crazy cat people. Not only do I cook for my cat and talk to him, but he talks back. I hear his voice in my head."
He hoped that Pak would understand, even through the jest, that he had savage savant abilities and wasn't just crazy. No, he wasn't just crazy, he had other issues too. If she didn't run from the apartment screaming, then perhaps he could explain a bit further.
"So, wine?"
(ooc: poor Artemis. He is worried about being a crazy cat person, and the first thing that pops into my head is Stephen King's Sleepwalkers)
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak blinked at the lopsided exchange and the offer of backing. Nothing like starting out an evening off balance. Fortunately things were quickly explained.
"No.. I don't think we need a chicken and I'm sure Pascal has more of a taste for the salmon than I do."Â?
Hearing the name said aloud again she grinned. It had to be, and somehow it seemed appropriate, nor could she think of any one else who would have named a cat after him.
"Pascal, as in the triangle?"Â?
It almost made Mongkut seem tame.
That Artemis heard his cat's voice in his head didn't even make Pak miss a beat. She heard voices in her head too, at least his were real.
"Good, you can explain to Mongkut that he shouldn't eat my fish. I mean the fish -was- there first."Â?
She still felt bad about putting the fish in the kitchen cabinets but it was one of the few places that was safe from the kitten. Some days she'd leave the beta in her bedroom and close the door. Her approach varied but she was determined to keep the fish safe even when she wasn't there to protect it.
"Yes please, unless you are -really- hung up on that chicken idea."Â?
((OOC... LOL no worries between Pak hearing her kids voices in her head and not being much of a Stephen King fan... he's safe))
"No.. I don't think we need a chicken and I'm sure Pascal has more of a taste for the salmon than I do."Â?
Hearing the name said aloud again she grinned. It had to be, and somehow it seemed appropriate, nor could she think of any one else who would have named a cat after him.
"Pascal, as in the triangle?"Â?
It almost made Mongkut seem tame.
That Artemis heard his cat's voice in his head didn't even make Pak miss a beat. She heard voices in her head too, at least his were real.
"Good, you can explain to Mongkut that he shouldn't eat my fish. I mean the fish -was- there first."Â?
She still felt bad about putting the fish in the kitchen cabinets but it was one of the few places that was safe from the kitten. Some days she'd leave the beta in her bedroom and close the door. Her approach varied but she was determined to keep the fish safe even when she wasn't there to protect it.
"Yes please, unless you are -really- hung up on that chicken idea."Â?
((OOC... LOL no worries between Pak hearing her kids voices in her head and not being much of a Stephen King fan... he's safe))
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Leaving the wine and glasses where they sat on the counter, Artemis knelt on one knee for a moment next to Pascal. Smiling, he reached down and gave the cat a few gentle strokes before standing back up and turning to Pak. He could have quipped that two of his previous cats were named Isosceles and Obtuse, but this was hardly the time for stale math jokes.
"Well, more after the mathematician than the triangle. I am sure he will introduce himself properly when he has had time to digest his meal."
Returning to the counter, he began to open the bottle of wine. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that she didn't want the chicken. On the one hand, he really wasn't in the mood for it. On the other hand, there was something to be said for delay tactics. He poured the wine into the glasses and then handed one to Pak. Leading her to the sofa, he decided to explain a little bit about the wine.
"This is one if from my own vineyard, one of my vampire blends. It is a mildly sweet desert wine. Though, it is only a 21-grade juice. So by vampire standards it is more for tasting than for reaching the nirvana of drunken stupors. Remind me on your second glass to explain what I mean by vampire blend."
Given the pending discussion, by the second glass they probably both be grateful for the distraction. Waiting for Pak to take a seat, Artemis leaned against the wall next to the window.
"Where would you like to start?"
"Well, more after the mathematician than the triangle. I am sure he will introduce himself properly when he has had time to digest his meal."
Returning to the counter, he began to open the bottle of wine. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that she didn't want the chicken. On the one hand, he really wasn't in the mood for it. On the other hand, there was something to be said for delay tactics. He poured the wine into the glasses and then handed one to Pak. Leading her to the sofa, he decided to explain a little bit about the wine.
"This is one if from my own vineyard, one of my vampire blends. It is a mildly sweet desert wine. Though, it is only a 21-grade juice. So by vampire standards it is more for tasting than for reaching the nirvana of drunken stupors. Remind me on your second glass to explain what I mean by vampire blend."
Given the pending discussion, by the second glass they probably both be grateful for the distraction. Waiting for Pak to take a seat, Artemis leaned against the wall next to the window.
"Where would you like to start?"
Pakpao
13 years ago
"In all fairness it was his triangle."Â?
Pak stuck out her tongue as she cheerfully pointed out a minor detail that made her not wrong. It was sort of a relief to be able to play about something.
Allowing herself to be guided to the sofa Pak curled up in the corner, legs tucked up under her. Comfortable she studied the wine a bit, she'd lived in France long enough that she was perfectly used to using all five senses (well four she had yet to be able to hear wine) to check out what she was drinking.
"One of yours?"Â?
The nose painted a vivid picture and it looked lovely and carefully savoring the first sip she nodded approval.
"I like it. Very well rounded and not too sweet."Â?
Somehow she thought that a second glass explanation was going to be a good idea. It was far too easy for this kind of conversation to get very heavy very fast. Pak's answer was simply not to have these discussions, but this one seemed important. She... well she needed to know.
Inspired by their costumes the other day she channeled her inner Mad Hatter.
"Begin at the beginning. And when you come to the end, stop."Â?
((OOC... I -think- that is a Mad Hatter line, could be the March Hare.))
Pak stuck out her tongue as she cheerfully pointed out a minor detail that made her not wrong. It was sort of a relief to be able to play about something.
Allowing herself to be guided to the sofa Pak curled up in the corner, legs tucked up under her. Comfortable she studied the wine a bit, she'd lived in France long enough that she was perfectly used to using all five senses (well four she had yet to be able to hear wine) to check out what she was drinking.
"One of yours?"Â?
The nose painted a vivid picture and it looked lovely and carefully savoring the first sip she nodded approval.
"I like it. Very well rounded and not too sweet."Â?
Somehow she thought that a second glass explanation was going to be a good idea. It was far too easy for this kind of conversation to get very heavy very fast. Pak's answer was simply not to have these discussions, but this one seemed important. She... well she needed to know.
Inspired by their costumes the other day she channeled her inner Mad Hatter.
"Begin at the beginning. And when you come to the end, stop."Â?
((OOC... I -think- that is a Mad Hatter line, could be the March Hare.))
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
The beginning. She didn't know what she was asking for. Artemis stared at the ground while he contemplated where to begin this story. The soft quiet movement of Pascal caught his attention. He lifted his head and watched as Pascal jumped onto the sofa and curled up next to Pak. The sound of his purrs seemed to work like a hypnotist's clock. The steady rhythm dragging Artemis back to the memories he tried to avoid when he was around other people.
"To truly explain where I was, I will have to go back much further than the recent past."
Artemis turned and looked out the window. Standing there, his own reflection scowled at him from the glass. The white linen shirt clung to his sculpted frame. With a stance that was rigid and a gaze that was intense, it was not the farmer that stared back at him, but the soldier. Taking a sip of his wine, he shook his head slightly to clear it of the memories. It was no surprise that his thoughts had jumped to the middle of the story. But, Pak deserved more than that.
"I asked you once if you wanted to meet my creator, Morrigan. For reasons of her own, she hated Romans. Knowing that, would have to wonder why she chose to turn one and claim him as a child"
Artemis turned and looked at Pak over his shoulder and gave her a half smile.
"Why me."
He considered that question for a moment. Eventually, he would have to get to the point. But, he found he was still reluctant to do so.
"I suppose, in many ways I reminded her of herself."
Artemis let out a deep breath and the laughed at himself. Mostly to relieve his own tension than anything else. Using his mind, he moved his glass to the table and folded his arms in front of him.
"I know this is a rather drawn out way to answer the 'where the hell have you been' question. But, I promise that my past is very much connected to the mission that Alfarinn requested that I complete."
He paused a moment before giving Pak a sheepish grin.
"Are you sure you don't want that chicken or perhaps some popcorn?"
"To truly explain where I was, I will have to go back much further than the recent past."
Artemis turned and looked out the window. Standing there, his own reflection scowled at him from the glass. The white linen shirt clung to his sculpted frame. With a stance that was rigid and a gaze that was intense, it was not the farmer that stared back at him, but the soldier. Taking a sip of his wine, he shook his head slightly to clear it of the memories. It was no surprise that his thoughts had jumped to the middle of the story. But, Pak deserved more than that.
"I asked you once if you wanted to meet my creator, Morrigan. For reasons of her own, she hated Romans. Knowing that, would have to wonder why she chose to turn one and claim him as a child"
Artemis turned and looked at Pak over his shoulder and gave her a half smile.
"Why me."
He considered that question for a moment. Eventually, he would have to get to the point. But, he found he was still reluctant to do so.
"I suppose, in many ways I reminded her of herself."
Artemis let out a deep breath and the laughed at himself. Mostly to relieve his own tension than anything else. Using his mind, he moved his glass to the table and folded his arms in front of him.
"I know this is a rather drawn out way to answer the 'where the hell have you been' question. But, I promise that my past is very much connected to the mission that Alfarinn requested that I complete."
He paused a moment before giving Pak a sheepish grin.
"Are you sure you don't want that chicken or perhaps some popcorn?"
Pakpao
13 years ago
Apparently Pascal had decided she was OK. Pak absently scratched him behind the ears and softly stroked him. There was no point in rushing him. She knew from experience that there was a lot you couldn't just jump into you had to know the whole story. It was the same for humans, they just had shorter life spans so the stories were shorter. And so many of their stories involved death, they had to they were all dead, and that often wasn't pretty.
The expression on is face was one she hadn't seen before, not from Artemis any way. It was a little unsettling, but she wasn't worried, not yet.
Morrigan still made Pak nervous. More than ever she was aware of her messed up origins. It was even more complicated now, she didn't want to get her own creator in trouble and if that wasn't an odd relationship she didn't know what was. But she swallowed her nerves again.
"I still say I'd love to."Â?
She obviously important to Artemis and Pak wasn't going to ignore that or she away from it.
Pak had long ago stopped trying to figure out why some people made other vampires, and how they chose. Sometimes there was a good reason, some times... less so. Given that the two of them were still on good terms, Pak guessed Morrigan had a good reason. If Morrigan hadn't been keen on Romans, and he was one... there was apparently a minor disagreement some where.
She didn't shy away from her logic either, but her voice and gaze stayed calm and steady.
"I'm guessing you were a might unhappy with the establishment and she approved."Â?
The expression on is face was one she hadn't seen before, not from Artemis any way. It was a little unsettling, but she wasn't worried, not yet.
Morrigan still made Pak nervous. More than ever she was aware of her messed up origins. It was even more complicated now, she didn't want to get her own creator in trouble and if that wasn't an odd relationship she didn't know what was. But she swallowed her nerves again.
"I still say I'd love to."Â?
She obviously important to Artemis and Pak wasn't going to ignore that or she away from it.
Pak had long ago stopped trying to figure out why some people made other vampires, and how they chose. Sometimes there was a good reason, some times... less so. Given that the two of them were still on good terms, Pak guessed Morrigan had a good reason. If Morrigan hadn't been keen on Romans, and he was one... there was apparently a minor disagreement some where.
She didn't shy away from her logic either, but her voice and gaze stayed calm and steady.
"I'm guessing you were a might unhappy with the establishment and she approved."Â?
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
He was glad she would still be willing to meet Morrigan. Still, after he finished telling his story, meeting Morrigan right away might be a bit much. Morrigan in her own way could be quite protective. Perhaps, if tonight went well and Pak was still speaking to him, he could introduce her to his 'sister' Chryseis first. Given what little he knew of the current situation, he was sure that the timing of such a meeting with Morrigan would have to be just right.
"Maybe I can arrange for us to have dinner with my younger sister Chryseis. She was also sired by Morrigan. Aside from the dogs, she is slightly less daunting. She can also help us find the right time to get together with Morrigan."
Glancing ahead, into the kitchen, he focused on one of the corner cabinets. Since he had offered popcorn, he reached out with his mind and pull the box from the cabinet where it was stored. Slowly, the little red box with Orville's picture on it drifted down to the counter to rest. Just in case she decided she wanted some later. It also gave him something to focus on for a moment, while he considered her question.
"I never been a big fan of politics or authority figures. Especially those that abuse their power and privileges. In Rome, there was plenty of that. But, we lived outside of Rome proper, on the Amalfi Coast. Away from the nobility, we could cope with being Roman. It really wasn't a bad life. It was more the minor noble that decided to move into town that was the issue."
He listened as the wind outside the towers picked up. For the first time since he had returned to Nachton, he thought about what time of year it was. Pak had a way of doing that to him, making him forget the past and live in the moment. Not such a bad thing really, but some memories were too precious to let go. He always felt a a small pang of guilt whenever he realized how much had enjoyed the time he spent with Pak. A look of sorow and regret crossed is face briefly. Artemis took another sip of his wine, allowing his hand and glass to mask his face as much as possible until he gained control again. He wanted to shield Pak from those emotions that were running through him. It would be impossible, and he knew it. But, he still tried.
In what seemed like a rapid change in topic or blatant avoidance of the previous one, Artemis the reason for his life and his undeath. Cyrene had been the center or his world for over a millennium, it was time he acknowledged it so that he could move on.
"It was around this time over 1600 years ago that I proposed to my wife. We were married just after the winter solstice."
Artemis downed the rest of his wine. Bombs away.
"Maybe I can arrange for us to have dinner with my younger sister Chryseis. She was also sired by Morrigan. Aside from the dogs, she is slightly less daunting. She can also help us find the right time to get together with Morrigan."
Glancing ahead, into the kitchen, he focused on one of the corner cabinets. Since he had offered popcorn, he reached out with his mind and pull the box from the cabinet where it was stored. Slowly, the little red box with Orville's picture on it drifted down to the counter to rest. Just in case she decided she wanted some later. It also gave him something to focus on for a moment, while he considered her question.
"I never been a big fan of politics or authority figures. Especially those that abuse their power and privileges. In Rome, there was plenty of that. But, we lived outside of Rome proper, on the Amalfi Coast. Away from the nobility, we could cope with being Roman. It really wasn't a bad life. It was more the minor noble that decided to move into town that was the issue."
He listened as the wind outside the towers picked up. For the first time since he had returned to Nachton, he thought about what time of year it was. Pak had a way of doing that to him, making him forget the past and live in the moment. Not such a bad thing really, but some memories were too precious to let go. He always felt a a small pang of guilt whenever he realized how much had enjoyed the time he spent with Pak. A look of sorow and regret crossed is face briefly. Artemis took another sip of his wine, allowing his hand and glass to mask his face as much as possible until he gained control again. He wanted to shield Pak from those emotions that were running through him. It would be impossible, and he knew it. But, he still tried.
In what seemed like a rapid change in topic or blatant avoidance of the previous one, Artemis the reason for his life and his undeath. Cyrene had been the center or his world for over a millennium, it was time he acknowledged it so that he could move on.
"It was around this time over 1600 years ago that I proposed to my wife. We were married just after the winter solstice."
Artemis downed the rest of his wine. Bombs away.
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak cocked an eyebrow a little amused. He had a sister who was a dog person. That was sort of funny. Not appropriate to comment on right now, but still vaguely amusing.
Glad there was any less daunting option she nodded. Dogs she could deal with, they couldn't be scarier than wolves. And although Pak had yet to meet a wolf, what they had scrapped up was enough to concern her. She wasn't tracking the phases of the moon just yet, she was at least working on being less naive.
Flying popcorn didn't concern her. She spent far too much time in Kem's company, and her own. If it had been her, it would have been an avoidance tactic. So Pak didn't say anything just toyed with her wine and waited.
Well that was understandable. She had issues with power and the abuse there of, so far she understood.
Oddly enough she understood the change of topic too. Some stories you just -couldn't- tell in a straight line. It helped to sneak up on them from a different direction. But still, she was starting to feel a little guilty have ever asked the question.
She mentally chased away her daughter and worked at keeping that little bit of guilt hidden. It wasn't going to help anything.
Artemis probably wasn't even aware of it, but he was a little... intimidating. Her instinct was actually to move toward him but something held her back. She was even hesitant to say anything and just nodded again, simply waiting for him to go on. Although, he was a good story teller, instinct said this was not going to go well.
Glad there was any less daunting option she nodded. Dogs she could deal with, they couldn't be scarier than wolves. And although Pak had yet to meet a wolf, what they had scrapped up was enough to concern her. She wasn't tracking the phases of the moon just yet, she was at least working on being less naive.
Flying popcorn didn't concern her. She spent far too much time in Kem's company, and her own. If it had been her, it would have been an avoidance tactic. So Pak didn't say anything just toyed with her wine and waited.
Well that was understandable. She had issues with power and the abuse there of, so far she understood.
Oddly enough she understood the change of topic too. Some stories you just -couldn't- tell in a straight line. It helped to sneak up on them from a different direction. But still, she was starting to feel a little guilty have ever asked the question.
She mentally chased away her daughter and worked at keeping that little bit of guilt hidden. It wasn't going to help anything.
Artemis probably wasn't even aware of it, but he was a little... intimidating. Her instinct was actually to move toward him but something held her back. She was even hesitant to say anything and just nodded again, simply waiting for him to go on. Although, he was a good story teller, instinct said this was not going to go well.
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis wasn't sure what he was expecting when told Pak that he had been married. But, it didn't happen. He knew that all vampires had that period in time before they were turned. They lived as human's and did human things. A marriage shouldn't be so out of the ordinary. Somewhat grateful that there weren't any questions or other reactions, he continued.
"Not long after we were married, I was conscripted into the military and forced to go to war."
There was no need to go into all of the difficulties he experienced as a soldier. He had trained and learned to fight well enough. His friends did their best to keep him supplied with alcohol, often going without themselves. But, when the supply lines were cut off and they were too far from a village, that is when things got bad. His inability to focus on one thing made him unreliable. It was unfortunate that he had to discover that other thing that helped him focus was absolute blind rage.
Artemis turned once more to the window. Looking out, he no longer saw the city or even his own reflection. He was once again witnessing scenes that had played out centuries ago. Hearing screams that only he could hear. The screams of the dieing men he failed to save.
"My troop was ambushed by a band of Visigoth. I was the only one who survived. When I came to, the enemy was gone and my fellow soldiers were either dead or dieing. I couldn't save them. My closest friend died in my arms."
He paused for a long moment, while he struggled with the warring emotions inside him. The guilt and the grief that would always be there. And the shame he felt for what he done after that.
"I was overcome with such grief and rage, that I did something horrible. I tracked down the Visigoths and I slaughtered them. I killed them all."
Placing his glass on the coffee table, he sat down on the sofa for the first time that evening. It was a haunted man that sat there with his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he looked up and rested his chin on his clasped hands. Staring straight ahead, he spoke quietly.
"I killed them Pak. All of them. Every last one, without an ounce of mercy."
"Not long after we were married, I was conscripted into the military and forced to go to war."
There was no need to go into all of the difficulties he experienced as a soldier. He had trained and learned to fight well enough. His friends did their best to keep him supplied with alcohol, often going without themselves. But, when the supply lines were cut off and they were too far from a village, that is when things got bad. His inability to focus on one thing made him unreliable. It was unfortunate that he had to discover that other thing that helped him focus was absolute blind rage.
Artemis turned once more to the window. Looking out, he no longer saw the city or even his own reflection. He was once again witnessing scenes that had played out centuries ago. Hearing screams that only he could hear. The screams of the dieing men he failed to save.
"My troop was ambushed by a band of Visigoth. I was the only one who survived. When I came to, the enemy was gone and my fellow soldiers were either dead or dieing. I couldn't save them. My closest friend died in my arms."
He paused for a long moment, while he struggled with the warring emotions inside him. The guilt and the grief that would always be there. And the shame he felt for what he done after that.
"I was overcome with such grief and rage, that I did something horrible. I tracked down the Visigoths and I slaughtered them. I killed them all."
Placing his glass on the coffee table, he sat down on the sofa for the first time that evening. It was a haunted man that sat there with his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he looked up and rested his chin on his clasped hands. Staring straight ahead, he spoke quietly.
"I killed them Pak. All of them. Every last one, without an ounce of mercy."
Pakpao
13 years ago
Try as she might she just couldn't see Artemis as a soldier. But then again he did say conscripted and any kind of draft made for some unique troops.
Not being terribly physically brave, although there were exceptions and she was getting a little better, she had a hard time imagining any of this. What she did know is that she couldn't see him as part of it. Strange to say it but it didn't bother her too much. It had been hundreds of years, and with the exception of Aishe, Pak didn't know a single vampire who hadn't killed some one. Even in her own case, accidental though the deaths may have been, more than one some one. Well one had been deliberate, one had been -quite- deliberate but she simply refused to think about that right now.
What bothered her was how much it still hurt Artemis. They all had their wounds; some were deeper than others though.
Hallmark really needed a vampire division; it was hard to know what to say. What she did know was she wasn't going to let him sit there alone like that. Setting down her own half finished glass Pak gently moved Pascal so she wouldn't upset him and slid from the corner to sit next to Artemis.
Without a word she rested her head against his shoulder. It hurt him that was very apparent. Nothing was going to undo that any time soon but she did her best to let him know she wasn't going to leave him because of it. She muttered something in Siamese as she placed a hand on his arm, although it was more to distract him for a second, to pull him back to the present than anything. Pak wasn't even quite sure what she'd said, it was just... well it was like Kem tended to remind her when she was in a very bad place... he wasn't alone.
Not being terribly physically brave, although there were exceptions and she was getting a little better, she had a hard time imagining any of this. What she did know is that she couldn't see him as part of it. Strange to say it but it didn't bother her too much. It had been hundreds of years, and with the exception of Aishe, Pak didn't know a single vampire who hadn't killed some one. Even in her own case, accidental though the deaths may have been, more than one some one. Well one had been deliberate, one had been -quite- deliberate but she simply refused to think about that right now.
What bothered her was how much it still hurt Artemis. They all had their wounds; some were deeper than others though.
Hallmark really needed a vampire division; it was hard to know what to say. What she did know was she wasn't going to let him sit there alone like that. Setting down her own half finished glass Pak gently moved Pascal so she wouldn't upset him and slid from the corner to sit next to Artemis.
Without a word she rested her head against his shoulder. It hurt him that was very apparent. Nothing was going to undo that any time soon but she did her best to let him know she wasn't going to leave him because of it. She muttered something in Siamese as she placed a hand on his arm, although it was more to distract him for a second, to pull him back to the present than anything. Pak wasn't even quite sure what she'd said, it was just... well it was like Kem tended to remind her when she was in a very bad place... he wasn't alone.
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis placed on hers, acknowledging the comfort that she was offering. He felt he should say something to clarify what he was feeling. But, that was what worried him. If he pointed out the monster that he was capable of becoming, how could she help but see it herself. Anger he could handle. But, he couldn't bare to see fear in her eyes. He woulld rather Pak hate him, than be afraid of him.
"As a soldier, even a reluctant one, you find ways to justify the deaths. You tell yourself that it is for the protection of family and friends, and do your best to file it away. But this was different. I stalked my prey. Hunted them and meticulously planned their deaths. When I saw what I had done, what I was capable of...."
Artemis trailed of for a moment, while he considered his words.
"I did all of that as a human. What am I capable of now? That is what I am afraid of."
Being aware of one's strength generally helped one prevent abusing it. But, he always feared that one day something would once again drive him over the edge. Giving himself a mental shake, he did his best to pull himself together. Turning his head slightly, he rested his cheek on the top of Pak's head and smiled.
"Thank you"
Artemis wasn't sure what else to say. Her support meant a lot to him, and short of buying her the whole damn flower shop, he didn't think he could ever express how much.
"It wasn't all bad though. I did meet Alfarinn a couple days later. He was fighting for the opposite side and had come looking for those men. Instead he found me distraught and no doubt smelling rather bad."
"As a soldier, even a reluctant one, you find ways to justify the deaths. You tell yourself that it is for the protection of family and friends, and do your best to file it away. But this was different. I stalked my prey. Hunted them and meticulously planned their deaths. When I saw what I had done, what I was capable of...."
Artemis trailed of for a moment, while he considered his words.
"I did all of that as a human. What am I capable of now? That is what I am afraid of."
Being aware of one's strength generally helped one prevent abusing it. But, he always feared that one day something would once again drive him over the edge. Giving himself a mental shake, he did his best to pull himself together. Turning his head slightly, he rested his cheek on the top of Pak's head and smiled.
"Thank you"
Artemis wasn't sure what else to say. Her support meant a lot to him, and short of buying her the whole damn flower shop, he didn't think he could ever express how much.
"It wasn't all bad though. I did meet Alfarinn a couple days later. He was fighting for the opposite side and had come looking for those men. Instead he found me distraught and no doubt smelling rather bad."
Pakpao
13 years ago
"We aren't that much different from humans. So... well.. But you know now."Â?
Yes and yet again she totally failed to say anything articulate or comforting. She organized her thoughts and translated the gist of what she'd said before in her native language.
"More important, you're not alone, not the only survivor."Â?
Which roughly translated meant she wouldn't let him go off again if she could help it, not if he didn't want to even if that meant jumping on his back or knocking him out.
She relaxed a little bit since he seemed to be settling down a bit and he wasn't shoving her way. That was good. So she didn't move either.
That was a fun way to meet new friends wasn't it?
"A distinct lack of showers at the time I should imagine."Â?
Pak went for a bit of humor. He could use the break. You couldn't deal with something like this all at once. At least she couldn't.
Yes and yet again she totally failed to say anything articulate or comforting. She organized her thoughts and translated the gist of what she'd said before in her native language.
"More important, you're not alone, not the only survivor."Â?
Which roughly translated meant she wouldn't let him go off again if she could help it, not if he didn't want to even if that meant jumping on his back or knocking him out.
She relaxed a little bit since he seemed to be settling down a bit and he wasn't shoving her way. That was good. So she didn't move either.
That was a fun way to meet new friends wasn't it?
"A distinct lack of showers at the time I should imagine."Â?
Pak went for a bit of humor. He could use the break. You couldn't deal with something like this all at once. At least she couldn't.
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis smiled at the attempt to make him feel better. And, she was right. He did now know what could happen if he let things get to him. Wasn't that what most of his training with Mai had been for? To learn how not to let things get to him. Artemis was more relieved that Pak had heard that part of his story and not called him a monster. He didn't sense any accusation or fear from her. Artemis shifted and turned so that he could look at her. With the side of his index finger, he gently tilted Pak's head back enough to place a soft peck on her lips and another on her forehead as he stood up. He wanted her to know, that for the moment he would be ok.
Artemis knew the ending of the story. He knew what was coming that needed to be told. He certainly was not in a hurry to tell it. A break would certainly do them both some good. Smiling ruefully, he nodded.
"The wonders of modern technology. It gave us the wheel, the space shuttle, and antiperspirant."
After excusing himself for a moment, he went to his office and then returned with a rosewood box and a black teddy bear. With the box and bear under one arm, he stopped and grabbed the bottle of wine from the kitchen counter. Artemis placed wine and the box on the coffee table before turning and grinning at his cat who had stretched out to take up more the space that Pak had vacated. Placing the bear in front of Pascal, he watched with a smile as the wrapped both fore legs around it and began to purr. The little black bear had been a gift from his assistant Keri who had made it a lab coat out of the remnants of one of his own. Keri had later confessed that she had also laced the bear with catnip. Best assistant in the world.
"I not only talk to my cat, I occasionally drug him too."
He then went on to explain to Pak about the bear and that his absence had not been particularly easy for Pascal to take. Picking up the rosewood box, he returned to his seat next to her. The box had an intricate wood pattern similar to what might have been found in the art deco period. At the bottom edge of the lid was a brass plaque that read, "Riesling Blend". Artemis opened the box to reveal tiny jars filled with various herbs and dried flowers.
"Would you like to take a break and let me explain the mysteries of my special vampire blends?"
Artemis knew the ending of the story. He knew what was coming that needed to be told. He certainly was not in a hurry to tell it. A break would certainly do them both some good. Smiling ruefully, he nodded.
"The wonders of modern technology. It gave us the wheel, the space shuttle, and antiperspirant."
After excusing himself for a moment, he went to his office and then returned with a rosewood box and a black teddy bear. With the box and bear under one arm, he stopped and grabbed the bottle of wine from the kitchen counter. Artemis placed wine and the box on the coffee table before turning and grinning at his cat who had stretched out to take up more the space that Pak had vacated. Placing the bear in front of Pascal, he watched with a smile as the wrapped both fore legs around it and began to purr. The little black bear had been a gift from his assistant Keri who had made it a lab coat out of the remnants of one of his own. Keri had later confessed that she had also laced the bear with catnip. Best assistant in the world.
"I not only talk to my cat, I occasionally drug him too."
He then went on to explain to Pak about the bear and that his absence had not been particularly easy for Pascal to take. Picking up the rosewood box, he returned to his seat next to her. The box had an intricate wood pattern similar to what might have been found in the art deco period. At the bottom edge of the lid was a brass plaque that read, "Riesling Blend". Artemis opened the box to reveal tiny jars filled with various herbs and dried flowers.
"Would you like to take a break and let me explain the mysteries of my special vampire blends?"
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak looked away and blushed very faintly, but she didn't move away. If nothing else, Pascal had taken her seat. Cats.
"I could have sworn they had the wheel in Rome. Don't tell me you're even older than I thought."Â?
It was easy to tease, and something of a relief. She was fairly certain this wasn't the end of the story but intermissions were a very good thing some times.
As he wandered off, Pak reclaimed her glass of wine and finished it. It was a lot to take in and had to have been a lot to live through. She could sympathize, relate even.
Pascal's reaction to the bear made her smile.
"As long as they are legal and every one is consenting adults I think that is just fine."Â?
She hadn't tried giving her kitten any catnip just yet. Maybe she could use it to bribe him to stay away from the fish. This was an idea worth considering. Although, the point of those musings was that Pak sort of understood where Pascal was coming from. She would have been happy to keep an eye on the black and white cat if she'd known Artemis had been going to disappear.
She did offer to do so in the future, if needed, providing the two cats got along of course.
Letting her curiosity get the better of her Pak leaned forward to look at the box and try and figure out what exactly it was.
"I think that would be a very good idea. You did promise me an explanation after all."Â?
"I could have sworn they had the wheel in Rome. Don't tell me you're even older than I thought."Â?
It was easy to tease, and something of a relief. She was fairly certain this wasn't the end of the story but intermissions were a very good thing some times.
As he wandered off, Pak reclaimed her glass of wine and finished it. It was a lot to take in and had to have been a lot to live through. She could sympathize, relate even.
Pascal's reaction to the bear made her smile.
"As long as they are legal and every one is consenting adults I think that is just fine."Â?
She hadn't tried giving her kitten any catnip just yet. Maybe she could use it to bribe him to stay away from the fish. This was an idea worth considering. Although, the point of those musings was that Pak sort of understood where Pascal was coming from. She would have been happy to keep an eye on the black and white cat if she'd known Artemis had been going to disappear.
She did offer to do so in the future, if needed, providing the two cats got along of course.
Letting her curiosity get the better of her Pak leaned forward to look at the box and try and figure out what exactly it was.
"I think that would be a very good idea. You did promise me an explanation after all."Â?
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis had chuckled at her earlier jest. And, since it played into his explanation about the wine, he couldn't help but bring it back up now.
"To answer your earlier question about my age, I was but a simple country boy. Technology was a little slower making it's way that far out of the city. Us poor farmers had little else to do but play in the dirt."
With a wink, he reach for the wine and refilled their glass. After handing her back her glass, Artemis took a sip from his own. He then asked Pak to do the same while he explained, providing additional instructions that she should pay extra attention to the flavors that she tasted.
"It was believed that a soil's composition had a large impact on the flavor and quality of the wine. With the exception of a few vitamins, this is not really the case. However, by infusing the water itself, we are able to create truly unique and potent blends."
Setting the box on the table, he perused the contents trying to select just the right one. He finally chose the little jar with a piece of sandalwood in. Removing the lid, he held the jar close enough that he could test the scent. The aroma was both earthy and mildly exotic, while remaining light and delicate. Satisfied, he passed the jar to Pak.
"As vampires, with our heightened senses, we can detect and enjoy a wider range of complex combinations. While some of my blends are meant more for intoxication, this one is more subtle. It is intended for the enjoyment and experience of wine."
Artemis had to admit that while he sometimes favored the more intoxicating varieties that his vineyard, he was the most proud of this more sophisticated line. The true essence of who Artemis was and who he wanted to be was found in the subtle intricacies and care that he placed in the creation of these wines. Over 1600 years, and he was still a winemaker at heart.
"Allow yourself to take in the scent of the sandalwood, and then try the wine again."
He then handed her another small jar. This one contained dried orange rinds.
"Now try this one. What do you taste?"
"To answer your earlier question about my age, I was but a simple country boy. Technology was a little slower making it's way that far out of the city. Us poor farmers had little else to do but play in the dirt."
With a wink, he reach for the wine and refilled their glass. After handing her back her glass, Artemis took a sip from his own. He then asked Pak to do the same while he explained, providing additional instructions that she should pay extra attention to the flavors that she tasted.
"It was believed that a soil's composition had a large impact on the flavor and quality of the wine. With the exception of a few vitamins, this is not really the case. However, by infusing the water itself, we are able to create truly unique and potent blends."
Setting the box on the table, he perused the contents trying to select just the right one. He finally chose the little jar with a piece of sandalwood in. Removing the lid, he held the jar close enough that he could test the scent. The aroma was both earthy and mildly exotic, while remaining light and delicate. Satisfied, he passed the jar to Pak.
"As vampires, with our heightened senses, we can detect and enjoy a wider range of complex combinations. While some of my blends are meant more for intoxication, this one is more subtle. It is intended for the enjoyment and experience of wine."
Artemis had to admit that while he sometimes favored the more intoxicating varieties that his vineyard, he was the most proud of this more sophisticated line. The true essence of who Artemis was and who he wanted to be was found in the subtle intricacies and care that he placed in the creation of these wines. Over 1600 years, and he was still a winemaker at heart.
"Allow yourself to take in the scent of the sandalwood, and then try the wine again."
He then handed her another small jar. This one contained dried orange rinds.
"Now try this one. What do you taste?"
Pakpao
13 years ago
"And here I thought the Romans were supposed to be an advanced civilization. We at least had mud."Â?
She nodded sagely. Of course it was a thousand or so years later, but technology could evolve slowly.
That wasn't a bad thought, Pak had to admit. She knew one wine maker in France, well his grandson now, and the family grew various aromatics around the vineyard but she'd not thought of the water. Apparently they hadn't either. What she knew was that wine making was an art, a tricky one at that. Very hard to work with a living canvas, it didn't always behave they way you wanted it too.
Sandalwood was one of her favorites. She sniffed t it and then at the wine before trying another sip. She raised a delicate eyebrow as the wine subtly changed flavor, tricky, very tricky.
Honestly, Pak was enjoying the satisfaction Artemis took in his creation probably more than the wine. Which said something as it was very good wine. She was impressed with the complex, yet harmonious blend of tastes and flavors and it was actually fun being able to pinpoint them like this.
Taking the little jar it was easy enough to smell oranges. She closed her eyes before sipping at the wine again. The bright sweet citrus flavor was there now; well it had been there before it was just a bit clearer now. It twisted around with the sandalwood and painted a whole new picture. She hadn't bothered to open her eyes, but in an unusually (well unusual for Pak) poetic moment answered firmly,
"Summer."Â?
Not known for being overly romantic her eyes few open and she added, just to cover herself a bit, with a small smile.
"And the oranges too."Â?
She nodded sagely. Of course it was a thousand or so years later, but technology could evolve slowly.
That wasn't a bad thought, Pak had to admit. She knew one wine maker in France, well his grandson now, and the family grew various aromatics around the vineyard but she'd not thought of the water. Apparently they hadn't either. What she knew was that wine making was an art, a tricky one at that. Very hard to work with a living canvas, it didn't always behave they way you wanted it too.
Sandalwood was one of her favorites. She sniffed t it and then at the wine before trying another sip. She raised a delicate eyebrow as the wine subtly changed flavor, tricky, very tricky.
Honestly, Pak was enjoying the satisfaction Artemis took in his creation probably more than the wine. Which said something as it was very good wine. She was impressed with the complex, yet harmonious blend of tastes and flavors and it was actually fun being able to pinpoint them like this.
Taking the little jar it was easy enough to smell oranges. She closed her eyes before sipping at the wine again. The bright sweet citrus flavor was there now; well it had been there before it was just a bit clearer now. It twisted around with the sandalwood and painted a whole new picture. She hadn't bothered to open her eyes, but in an unusually (well unusual for Pak) poetic moment answered firmly,
"Summer."Â?
Not known for being overly romantic her eyes few open and she added, just to cover herself a bit, with a small smile.
"And the oranges too."Â?
Artemis Bellezone
13 years ago
Artemis chuckled, but was pleased with her response. Very few people picked up on the seasonal theme on the first try. With his infusion blends, he often tried to develop a theme for that years blends. It added an extra challenge, and therefore added to the fun. The year that this particular blend was created, He had been using the changing of the seasons as his inspirations. He and Alfarinn had gone on quite the expedition to find just the right elements for that year.
"I am glad you enjoyed it. Some other time, I will have to let you sample the other blends from that year. There are still three other seasons to try."
He smiled to himself at the thought of a possible wine tasting party. He had doubted that even Alfarinn had tasted this blend since it was created. Artemis had locked several bottles up to age properly, and these had been aging for just under 50 years.
"Alfarinn and I toured the world that year to find just the right elements to match the season. I would tell you the stories, but our fearsome leader informed me that 'What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand'." Artemis gave Pak a mischievous wink before continuing, "So...We will just have to go to Bangkok so that I can tell you all about it."
Still amused with the idea of a party, he set the box on the table close to Pak. Telling those types of stories wouldn't be so bad. They were good memories, that he was only now starting to appreciate fully. But, he and Pak were here tonight for a different reason. Artemis sat back at the far end of the sofa and waited for several minutes. He wanted to give plenty of time to play with the box and enjoy her wine before he continued.
"Would you like to continue the story, or would you prefer to talk about something else?"
"I am glad you enjoyed it. Some other time, I will have to let you sample the other blends from that year. There are still three other seasons to try."
He smiled to himself at the thought of a possible wine tasting party. He had doubted that even Alfarinn had tasted this blend since it was created. Artemis had locked several bottles up to age properly, and these had been aging for just under 50 years.
"Alfarinn and I toured the world that year to find just the right elements to match the season. I would tell you the stories, but our fearsome leader informed me that 'What happens in Thailand, stays in Thailand'." Artemis gave Pak a mischievous wink before continuing, "So...We will just have to go to Bangkok so that I can tell you all about it."
Still amused with the idea of a party, he set the box on the table close to Pak. Telling those types of stories wouldn't be so bad. They were good memories, that he was only now starting to appreciate fully. But, he and Pak were here tonight for a different reason. Artemis sat back at the far end of the sofa and waited for several minutes. He wanted to give plenty of time to play with the box and enjoy her wine before he continued.
"Would you like to continue the story, or would you prefer to talk about something else?"