The unwelcome screech of tires outside on the street had Kem on his feet in a second. Given the events that had happened at Reign's house last week... over a week ago by now, he realized, everyone on the street was a tiny bit jumpy. When he yanked the shades aside and was simultaneously assaulted by a familiar voice at the same time, Kem was mystified.
[It's already open,] he responded instinctively. [Open it yourself.]
"And what's wrong?" he asked as Pak did exactly that and burst in looking agitated.
OMGWTF ((Attn: Kem and company))
"MARI... run that by me one more time."Â?
Hey if you were the Ultimate Admin keeper of secrets both corporate and vampire you kept an eye on things. Especially if those things were your friends, your best friend, your brother and confidant. And doubly especially if he was fucking about with another friend and investment. She -hated- l33t speak with a blinding passion but... OMGWTF.
MARI ran it by her one more time and Pak was just dumbfounded. Someone could have told her!
She didn't realize she was doing it but Pak left her office, got down to the parking garage, and put the 'Lil Bird through its paces. She tore through Nachton until she came to a screeching (literally) halt outside of Kem and Aishe's place.
Next thing Pak knew she was knocking like a KGB agent on Kem's door and mentally bellowing at him.
[Kem! God damned son of a bitch! I know you're in there now you open this door before I call your girlfriend.]
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Pakpao
13 years ago
Open it herself?! Fuck opening it herself. Pak threw the door open and with a little mental help slammed it shut with quite a bit of force. Confused and angry or not she stopped to take her shoes off. One came off neatly and was politely tucked off to the side in the foyer. The other... well something caught up with Pak and she hurled it with great force at Kem.
"What do you mean 'What's wrong?'! I can tell you what's wrong!"Â?
Pak stormed into the living room and sullenly hurled herself onto the sofa. Most of her rage had faded and she was just cross and sulky... -mostly- but not entirely. She could flare up again with no warning.
"Reign? Really?"Â?
She sat with her arms folded across her chest refusing to look at him.
"What do you mean 'What's wrong?'! I can tell you what's wrong!"Â?
Pak stormed into the living room and sullenly hurled herself onto the sofa. Most of her rage had faded and she was just cross and sulky... -mostly- but not entirely. She could flare up again with no warning.
"Reign? Really?"Â?
She sat with her arms folded across her chest refusing to look at him.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
"Shit."
Kem caught Pak's shoe before it went far and delicately placed it next t the one that hadn't been hurled at critical speed toward his frontal lobe.
Why did this not surprise him? Because by all accounts from both Pak and reign, there was nothing like a familiar bond between them or any interest in it. Nor did they seem to hang out much or even feel very comfortable with each other. Had he inadvertently stepped on Pak's toes? He didn't think so.
Standing there in the doorway to his own living room as Pak flounced past him, Kem crossed his arms much in the same way as Pak had them.
"Yes, really. Reign."
Kem caught Pak's shoe before it went far and delicately placed it next t the one that hadn't been hurled at critical speed toward his frontal lobe.
Why did this not surprise him? Because by all accounts from both Pak and reign, there was nothing like a familiar bond between them or any interest in it. Nor did they seem to hang out much or even feel very comfortable with each other. Had he inadvertently stepped on Pak's toes? He didn't think so.
Standing there in the doorway to his own living room as Pak flounced past him, Kem crossed his arms much in the same way as Pak had them.
"Yes, really. Reign."
Pakpao
13 years ago
At least Kem had learned to respect the shoes. It didn't even strike her as odd that he would just take care of the one that she'd thrown. Nor did she make any further attempt to injure her friend.
Cutting her out of the loop, both of them. One of them could have told her. She'd heard through the grape vine about the attack on Reign and she was oddly proud of how Kem had handled it. But... really? To not tell her about this big a decision, either of them. It was just... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Pak felt rather, or extremely, useless. She hadn't been there for Reign. Kem didn't tell her about this.
Oblivious to the fact that she sounded a bit like a five year old she muttered,
"You could have told me."Â?
Cutting her out of the loop, both of them. One of them could have told her. She'd heard through the grape vine about the attack on Reign and she was oddly proud of how Kem had handled it. But... really? To not tell her about this big a decision, either of them. It was just... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Pak felt rather, or extremely, useless. She hadn't been there for Reign. Kem didn't tell her about this.
Oblivious to the fact that she sounded a bit like a five year old she muttered,
"You could have told me."Â?
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Kem blinked at Pak. "I didn't realize you'd want me to."
Honestly, he hadn't realized Pak felt so... proprietary... about Reign. It certainly had never showed when they spoke of each other.
"You've been a little busy lately," he said. "I have too. I got shot, remember?"
Assuming Pak's source had been Aishe, Kem didn't think she'd have gone light on the graphic detail. "And at any rate we see each other a lot. He pointed out his front window, the very one Pak sat under now. "That's her house, remember?"
Kem could feel Reign now, a little subconscious speck in the back of his mind, nowhere near as strong as Aishe's comfortable, permanent presence but similar, at least. It told him that after several nights of nibbling, he most certainly had a familiar. And, he thought with a little bit of satisfaction, so far she showed none of the macabre personality traits the first two had.
In fact, every time he'd bitten her it had been accompanied by a profound feeling of mutual affection. Not like he and Aishe shared, just a feeling of comfort and protection and security on both ends. He could see how it could get addictive. And he was already warning himself against it.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Kem said, still wondering why he was supposed to apologize. "It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. I don't know who's after her or what they want her for, and I was afraid that next time, I wouldn't be conveniently sitting on my couch watching what was going on."
Honestly, he hadn't realized Pak felt so... proprietary... about Reign. It certainly had never showed when they spoke of each other.
"You've been a little busy lately," he said. "I have too. I got shot, remember?"
Assuming Pak's source had been Aishe, Kem didn't think she'd have gone light on the graphic detail. "And at any rate we see each other a lot. He pointed out his front window, the very one Pak sat under now. "That's her house, remember?"
Kem could feel Reign now, a little subconscious speck in the back of his mind, nowhere near as strong as Aishe's comfortable, permanent presence but similar, at least. It told him that after several nights of nibbling, he most certainly had a familiar. And, he thought with a little bit of satisfaction, so far she showed none of the macabre personality traits the first two had.
In fact, every time he'd bitten her it had been accompanied by a profound feeling of mutual affection. Not like he and Aishe shared, just a feeling of comfort and protection and security on both ends. He could see how it could get addictive. And he was already warning himself against it.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Kem said, still wondering why he was supposed to apologize. "It seemed like a reasonable thing to do. I don't know who's after her or what they want her for, and I was afraid that next time, I wouldn't be conveniently sitting on my couch watching what was going on."
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak just fixed him with a stony blue gaze, not even acknowledging what he'd said. Of -course- she'd want to know. She didn't even give when he played the sympathy card. Did he -really- think she didn't know he was perfectly capable of regenerating. OK it would more than sting and not be pleasant but still. It wasn't life threatening. He didn't wind up in the hospital.
OK all of his arguments made sense, but since when did Pak behave in a logical manner, at least not right off the bat. It was her habit, when dealing with Kem or any one else she was super comfortable with (OK so that meant Kem and Aishe) to blow up first, sulk and then behave like an actual person.
Really, Pak should have been there for Reign. She had thought about making the woman her familiar, it just hadn't seemed... well not 100% right. Of course, Pak had never had a familiar so she didn't know what right was, but still...
Turning away from Kem so she couldn't hear her quite as well,
"I'm glad you took care of her."Â?
Still, Kem should have told her. He knew that she and Reign knew each other. He should have said -something-. There might have been a tiny little bit of worry that Kem didn't need her any more... had he ever needed her?... but mostly...well... Pak was just confused.
OK all of his arguments made sense, but since when did Pak behave in a logical manner, at least not right off the bat. It was her habit, when dealing with Kem or any one else she was super comfortable with (OK so that meant Kem and Aishe) to blow up first, sulk and then behave like an actual person.
Really, Pak should have been there for Reign. She had thought about making the woman her familiar, it just hadn't seemed... well not 100% right. Of course, Pak had never had a familiar so she didn't know what right was, but still...
Turning away from Kem so she couldn't hear her quite as well,
"I'm glad you took care of her."Â?
Still, Kem should have told her. He knew that she and Reign knew each other. He should have said -something-. There might have been a tiny little bit of worry that Kem didn't need her any more... had he ever needed her?... but mostly...well... Pak was just confused.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Kem saw through Pak's blustery front before matters could truly get dire. He didn't have to be an empath to figure out what went through Pak's head most days. Feeling properly contrite he entered the living room and sat at Pak's feet. He crossed his arms, leaned forward, and rested them on her lap, then propped his chin on them and looked up at her.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you first Pak," he said, knowing the apology wasn't what she wanted but offering it since it was expected anyway. "But really, I'm just a dumb guy and we never think these things through."
He watched her face to see if he was having any luck. "Really, what she needed was a way to get in touch with help if she needed it. I gave her that. It's not what you think. It's not... really... the real thing."
He felt a residual shiver run through him, reminiscent of his abject fear of screwing this up. It had abated some but Pak's furor brought it back in shadow, if not in full force. "At least I won't take advantage of her," he pointed out. "Really. She could do worse."
It was true. In him, Reign had the whole of a Clan watching out for her, even if indirectly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you first Pak," he said, knowing the apology wasn't what she wanted but offering it since it was expected anyway. "But really, I'm just a dumb guy and we never think these things through."
He watched her face to see if he was having any luck. "Really, what she needed was a way to get in touch with help if she needed it. I gave her that. It's not what you think. It's not... really... the real thing."
He felt a residual shiver run through him, reminiscent of his abject fear of screwing this up. It had abated some but Pak's furor brought it back in shadow, if not in full force. "At least I won't take advantage of her," he pointed out. "Really. She could do worse."
It was true. In him, Reign had the whole of a Clan watching out for her, even if indirectly.
Pakpao
13 years ago
It wasn't quite what she wanted to hear. Part of Pak still thought she was being replaced, that she wasn't needed. She'd worried about this day since her breakdown in California. Even though she'd stood up to Bao and had gotten what -she- wanted from that relationship, Pak worried that Kem saw her as weak, unreliable, a liability.
Pak gave a long suffering sigh and pouted for a bit before resting her forehead against Kem's. This had to be a huge deal for him. She shouldn't be adding to it. Some day she was going to think things through where Kem was concerned.
"You are the better choice. She would have said something if it wasn't right."Â?
Pak trusted that almost as much as she trusted Kem. Honestly, now that she thought about it, they were ideal for each other.
Pak gave a long suffering sigh and pouted for a bit before resting her forehead against Kem's. This had to be a huge deal for him. She shouldn't be adding to it. Some day she was going to think things through where Kem was concerned.
"You are the better choice. She would have said something if it wasn't right."Â?
Pak trusted that almost as much as she trusted Kem. Honestly, now that she thought about it, they were ideal for each other.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Kem didn't quite understand what Pak's worry was. In light of being exactly what he claimed, a somewhat thick member of the male species, he just asked.
"Are you upset because you wanted her to be your familiar instead? That would have worked. I was there though, and we live so damn close. It seemed to make sense. I didn't mean to hurt you, Pak."
Kem huffed a sigh out. "She did ask a lot of questions," he agreed. "I thought it was only fair though. So I answered what I could."
He couldn't undo what was already done. Reign was, for all intents and purposes, his new familiar. It didn't matter if it wasn't your typical bond for your typical reasons. She was comfortably nestled into a teeny unoccupied corner of his mind and now that she was there she felt right.
Finally he just settled for truth. "Please don't stay angry," he said. "It was hard to do. I couldn't keep it up if I knew you were unhappy because of it."
"Are you upset because you wanted her to be your familiar instead? That would have worked. I was there though, and we live so damn close. It seemed to make sense. I didn't mean to hurt you, Pak."
Kem huffed a sigh out. "She did ask a lot of questions," he agreed. "I thought it was only fair though. So I answered what I could."
He couldn't undo what was already done. Reign was, for all intents and purposes, his new familiar. It didn't matter if it wasn't your typical bond for your typical reasons. She was comfortably nestled into a teeny unoccupied corner of his mind and now that she was there she felt right.
Finally he just settled for truth. "Please don't stay angry," he said. "It was hard to do. I couldn't keep it up if I knew you were unhappy because of it."
Pakpao
13 years ago
"No."Â?
Pak's answer was simple and direct.
"We tried, it was... ... it wasn't right."Â?
No point in beating around the bush, as much as she liked Reign, for some reason the woman held back from her. The one time Pak had bitten Reign it hadn't flowed, she was more comfortable with prostitutes.
She shook her head, hating the idea that Kem was at all worried about her or hurting her. Honestly, she currently didn't think she was worth that kind of effort.
"I'm sure you did fine. She wouldn't have agreed if you hadn't satisfied her. You know that."Â?
From what Pak understood about familiar bonds, she did think Kem would know if Reign wasn't OK with things now. He was also alert enough to have noticed any massive changes in Reign's personality by now. No Pak trusted Kem implicitly.
"I'm not angry. Not really. I'm..."Â?
Pak took a long breath, even though she didn't really need it, and after a stupidly long pause she managed sort of...say what was bothering her.
"I guess... I mean... you still trust me don't you?"Â?
Pak's answer was simple and direct.
"We tried, it was... ... it wasn't right."Â?
No point in beating around the bush, as much as she liked Reign, for some reason the woman held back from her. The one time Pak had bitten Reign it hadn't flowed, she was more comfortable with prostitutes.
She shook her head, hating the idea that Kem was at all worried about her or hurting her. Honestly, she currently didn't think she was worth that kind of effort.
"I'm sure you did fine. She wouldn't have agreed if you hadn't satisfied her. You know that."Â?
From what Pak understood about familiar bonds, she did think Kem would know if Reign wasn't OK with things now. He was also alert enough to have noticed any massive changes in Reign's personality by now. No Pak trusted Kem implicitly.
"I'm not angry. Not really. I'm..."Â?
Pak took a long breath, even though she didn't really need it, and after a stupidly long pause she managed sort of...say what was bothering her.
"I guess... I mean... you still trust me don't you?"Â?
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Pak's outburst surprised him, and he raised himself up off of his arms to sit up straight and look at her with a curious expression.
"I still trust you?"
How had she reached the conclusion that he somehow didn't trust her?
"How could I ever not trust you Pak?"
"I still trust you?"
How had she reached the conclusion that he somehow didn't trust her?
"How could I ever not trust you Pak?"
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak's instinct was always to distance herself from her feelings. After allowing herself a brief eye roll at Kem for being a total guy she continued.
"You don't tell me about this, it's a big deal. I've been..."Â? there was -no- good Siamese translation for 'mopey' "out of sorts."Â?
To Pak there were lots of signs that Kem didn't think she was up to snuff, that she wasn't at the top of her game. That just fed on itself driving her further and further into retreat. Afraid to trust any one, worried she wasn't good enough. It was almost enough to make her trust Bao.
Circumstances were clearly stacked against Pak. She had faltered. She wasn't the unflappable resilient vampire Kem had met. Too many things had happened in too short a time, Pak was having a hard time staying afloat. If she lost Kem and his trust though, his need of her, she'd probably drown.
"You don't tell me about this, it's a big deal. I've been..."Â? there was -no- good Siamese translation for 'mopey' "out of sorts."Â?
To Pak there were lots of signs that Kem didn't think she was up to snuff, that she wasn't at the top of her game. That just fed on itself driving her further and further into retreat. Afraid to trust any one, worried she wasn't good enough. It was almost enough to make her trust Bao.
Circumstances were clearly stacked against Pak. She had faltered. She wasn't the unflappable resilient vampire Kem had met. Too many things had happened in too short a time, Pak was having a hard time staying afloat. If she lost Kem and his trust though, his need of her, she'd probably drown.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Kem wasn't very good at these things. He desperately needed Aishe's wisdom here and she wasn't home. She was off at Meridian.
"So this... is somehow about me," he ventured uncertainly, "even though it's about you."
He closed his eyes for a second and tried to think back over the last few months. The last time, in fact, that Pak had flipped out at him in his office at Meridian. She'd said something similar. Or at least in the same vein. Was this a continuation of that theme? It had taken a while for him to understand that her griping at him was an expression of her own uncertainty.
Think, dumbass, he told himself. Pak has a lot going on. She's been worried and insecure. Aha. Insecure.
His brain worked through the various permutations and finally he settled on one possible solution.
"Senet," he said, reaching out and placing his hands on either side of Pak's face. "Close your eyes."
When Pak complied, he kept his own eyes closed and focused as hard as he could, trying to recall the feeling of comfort and security from Reign.
[That's Reign,] he sent as he did his best to literally show Pak what it felt like. Then he added the fear he felt, the stress and responsibility, the worry that something would go bad, the fear in himself that he couldn't possibly sustain such a bond and do it properly. That was easier to produce; he had felt it so sharply and was only beginning to get used to the softer, more welcome feelings of security.
Then he added the mountainous worry from running an entire Clan, knowing he could never in a million years add up to all Alfarinn was. He threw all that guilt, all the fears, all the pain and insecurity at Pak, so easy to do because it had been his constant companion for several years now.
[That's the Clan,] he sent.
Finally he took every emotion he'd shoved at her and imagined a rope or a blanket, something that wrapped it or covered it, pulled it all in, moderated it. He worked in the feeling of coming down from an adrenaline high, that relaxed lazy happiness that came with total relief. The feeling of comfort, love, and most of all, "home." There was need and want and fear of losing something precious and important, a desire to grasp and hold and cling to what had to be real and had to stay real for him to function.
[That is you, and Aishe.]
Kem opened his eyes. "Now tell me," he said softly to Pak, "lie to me, and tell me we were never friends, and that you don't want me around anymore."
She was silent, but he insisted. "Just say it."
"So this... is somehow about me," he ventured uncertainly, "even though it's about you."
He closed his eyes for a second and tried to think back over the last few months. The last time, in fact, that Pak had flipped out at him in his office at Meridian. She'd said something similar. Or at least in the same vein. Was this a continuation of that theme? It had taken a while for him to understand that her griping at him was an expression of her own uncertainty.
Think, dumbass, he told himself. Pak has a lot going on. She's been worried and insecure. Aha. Insecure.
His brain worked through the various permutations and finally he settled on one possible solution.
"Senet," he said, reaching out and placing his hands on either side of Pak's face. "Close your eyes."
When Pak complied, he kept his own eyes closed and focused as hard as he could, trying to recall the feeling of comfort and security from Reign.
[That's Reign,] he sent as he did his best to literally show Pak what it felt like. Then he added the fear he felt, the stress and responsibility, the worry that something would go bad, the fear in himself that he couldn't possibly sustain such a bond and do it properly. That was easier to produce; he had felt it so sharply and was only beginning to get used to the softer, more welcome feelings of security.
Then he added the mountainous worry from running an entire Clan, knowing he could never in a million years add up to all Alfarinn was. He threw all that guilt, all the fears, all the pain and insecurity at Pak, so easy to do because it had been his constant companion for several years now.
[That's the Clan,] he sent.
Finally he took every emotion he'd shoved at her and imagined a rope or a blanket, something that wrapped it or covered it, pulled it all in, moderated it. He worked in the feeling of coming down from an adrenaline high, that relaxed lazy happiness that came with total relief. The feeling of comfort, love, and most of all, "home." There was need and want and fear of losing something precious and important, a desire to grasp and hold and cling to what had to be real and had to stay real for him to function.
[That is you, and Aishe.]
Kem opened his eyes. "Now tell me," he said softly to Pak, "lie to me, and tell me we were never friends, and that you don't want me around anymore."
She was silent, but he insisted. "Just say it."
Pakpao
13 years ago
Pak just hissed at him, it wasn't nice to make fun of her right now. Ok it wasn't technically making fun of her, but.... Ok it was a guy thing. It didn't matter how old they were sometimes the XY set just couldn't figure things out. At least they couldn't express it right.
Once Kem seemed to have sorted it out through, she listened to him. Closing her eyes and letting him cast her glamour over her. Pak often refused delivery on her own emotions, but Kem, Kem she'd trust. When he got to his own feelings, to his worries about the clan Pak had to work to keep herself from flying off the couch and either just wrapping herself around him and reassuring him about how good he was. How smart, how solid, how deep down good he was. Kem didn't even know.
It was that Pak clung too, that she needed. Knowing he felt something of the same thing, not quite the same but -something- of the same thing, she found some of her strength again. Not all of it, but it was a good start.
She shook her head at him not quite able to find words at all but damned if she as going to lie to him. Kem wasn't going to let her off that easy though, he just looked at her.
Fine. Just bloody fine she'd say it, she couldn't look at him though and her voice was only -just- above a whisper.
"We're not friends, I don't want you around."Â?
And now she was going to cry. Lie or not, Pak couldn't even believe she'd said that to Kem.
Once Kem seemed to have sorted it out through, she listened to him. Closing her eyes and letting him cast her glamour over her. Pak often refused delivery on her own emotions, but Kem, Kem she'd trust. When he got to his own feelings, to his worries about the clan Pak had to work to keep herself from flying off the couch and either just wrapping herself around him and reassuring him about how good he was. How smart, how solid, how deep down good he was. Kem didn't even know.
It was that Pak clung too, that she needed. Knowing he felt something of the same thing, not quite the same but -something- of the same thing, she found some of her strength again. Not all of it, but it was a good start.
She shook her head at him not quite able to find words at all but damned if she as going to lie to him. Kem wasn't going to let her off that easy though, he just looked at her.
Fine. Just bloody fine she'd say it, she couldn't look at him though and her voice was only -just- above a whisper.
"We're not friends, I don't want you around."Â?
And now she was going to cry. Lie or not, Pak couldn't even believe she'd said that to Kem.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Well, it was whispered and definitely not sincere but just hearing the words in Pak's voice did the trick. He felt it in the way his shoulders tightened, the way he rolled forward and collapsed in on himself, the fact that it felt like he'd been shot in the chest with something ten times the size of last week's bullet. Letting out an involuntary noise that was somewhere between a whimper and a low moan, he barely managed to remember to concentrate enough to hurl those feelings at Pak.
[I worry about the Clan. I worry about Reign,] he sent to Pak, [but when I have nightmares it's not about either of them. It's about losing you.]
Kem was willing to accede that he'd done a lot of growing up in the past few years but he wasn't so sure of the universe that he could go without either of the two people who held him up. Losing Pak and Aishe was one of his greatest fears.
It was hard to fight away from the rising panic. He'd asked her to say it after all, because he'd wanted her to know without a shadow of a doubt how he felt. He kept his head down, focused on breathing no matter how unnecessary because it gave him a task, and tried to stop shaking.
[I worry about the Clan. I worry about Reign,] he sent to Pak, [but when I have nightmares it's not about either of them. It's about losing you.]
Kem was willing to accede that he'd done a lot of growing up in the past few years but he wasn't so sure of the universe that he could go without either of the two people who held him up. Losing Pak and Aishe was one of his greatest fears.
It was hard to fight away from the rising panic. He'd asked her to say it after all, because he'd wanted her to know without a shadow of a doubt how he felt. He kept his head down, focused on breathing no matter how unnecessary because it gave him a task, and tried to stop shaking.
Pakpao
13 years ago
What Kem through back at her hurt. Physically hurt. Dear god, she'd done that to him. Never, never, never -NEVER- in a million years would Pak deliberately hurt Kem. She'd sooner walk into the noon day sun and/or regenerate all of her internal organs than hurt Kem.
There was pain there, but Pak wasn't sure if it was her's, Kem's, or both together. She didn't know if it was something she could over come or not, but damned it to hell and back she was going to try.
Following her earlier instinct Pak half launched herself off the sofa, oblivious to the fact that she might physically hurt either one of them, and clung to Kem. It didn't matter who needed who more she wouldn't let him feel like this.
[Never. As long as you need me, as you want me, you'll never lose me.]
Even if all he needed her for was to straighten his office or throw away his toenail clippings that promise would hold true. She might need to be reminded he needed her from time to time, but Pak meant that with all her heart.
She gently stroked his hair, her face buried in his shoulder, willing ever last bit of her strength to him to keep Kem from shaking. It didn't matter that they weren't bonded, that she couldn't actually do anything, she still tried.
There was pain there, but Pak wasn't sure if it was her's, Kem's, or both together. She didn't know if it was something she could over come or not, but damned it to hell and back she was going to try.
Following her earlier instinct Pak half launched herself off the sofa, oblivious to the fact that she might physically hurt either one of them, and clung to Kem. It didn't matter who needed who more she wouldn't let him feel like this.
[Never. As long as you need me, as you want me, you'll never lose me.]
Even if all he needed her for was to straighten his office or throw away his toenail clippings that promise would hold true. She might need to be reminded he needed her from time to time, but Pak meant that with all her heart.
She gently stroked his hair, her face buried in his shoulder, willing ever last bit of her strength to him to keep Kem from shaking. It didn't matter that they weren't bonded, that she couldn't actually do anything, she still tried.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Kem wasn't prepared for Pak to catapult herself off of the couch at him but somehow he managed to stick his arms out and catch her before either of them injured anything. He held her close for a long time, reining in his own emotions which felt like they somehow weren't just his right now but the entire neighborhood's.
"You had better mean that," he mumbled at Pak, not raising his head or moving his arms. "Historically, I'm not really good at letting go."
Even as he slowly relaxed he didn't let go. [You know I love you, right? I can't do any of this... I can't do anything, without you. None of it matters without you. And if you leave, it won't ever matter again.]
He meant the words. There could have been nothing more sincere than what he sent to Pak then. If she needed to be needed, well, she had come to the right place.
"You had better mean that," he mumbled at Pak, not raising his head or moving his arms. "Historically, I'm not really good at letting go."
Even as he slowly relaxed he didn't let go. [You know I love you, right? I can't do any of this... I can't do anything, without you. None of it matters without you. And if you leave, it won't ever matter again.]
He meant the words. There could have been nothing more sincere than what he sent to Pak then. If she needed to be needed, well, she had come to the right place.
Pakpao
13 years ago
It wasn't at all sexual, not remotely, but just being held and holding Kem, it was right. Pak felt him relax, but she didn't let go, neither did he.
Just right then she didn't know who needed who more, nor did she care.
"Every syllable."Â?
Kem's voice in her head was calming, soothing. She trusted that more than words spoken allowed. Pak was close to tears but with her face so firmly pressed into his shoulder, it would probably be hard to notice.
[I do now. I'll remind you if you remind me.]
Some where along the line in the last few years, Kem had grown. A hell of a lot. Pak had been afraid of being left behind. He and Aishe could probably run the clan single-handed... or would it be two hands at that point? But when Kem said he needed her, she knew it was true.
["I love you too, I need you. So neither of us ever leaves. Deal?"Â?]
With Kem... some times Pak had no pride at all.
Just right then she didn't know who needed who more, nor did she care.
"Every syllable."Â?
Kem's voice in her head was calming, soothing. She trusted that more than words spoken allowed. Pak was close to tears but with her face so firmly pressed into his shoulder, it would probably be hard to notice.
[I do now. I'll remind you if you remind me.]
Some where along the line in the last few years, Kem had grown. A hell of a lot. Pak had been afraid of being left behind. He and Aishe could probably run the clan single-handed... or would it be two hands at that point? But when Kem said he needed her, she knew it was true.
["I love you too, I need you. So neither of us ever leaves. Deal?"Â?]
With Kem... some times Pak had no pride at all.
Kem`Raaisu
13 years ago
Pak was usually so independent and strong-willed, it was easy to forget she had her own set of insecurities. Kem didn't always notice the warning signs, but next time he would. For now he just sat there with Pak, held her and was held in return. He realized she had never been angry with him, not about Reign, but instead she was worried that she wasn't needed at all.
He felt the sides of his mouth turn up in a smile at the sound of Pak's voice.
[Deal.]
In the end, all he needed were his friends, anyway. The other things, they were good to have. They were worthwhile and valuable too, but Pak and Aishe made everything better. Tolerable. Functional. Meaningful. Whatever it was, he had meant it when he'd said it wouldn't be worth it without them. Family popped up in the strangest places. Evenhet might be his family, but only when he had his friends around him was he truly home.
Hopefully Pak understood that now... but just the same, he would keep reminding her.
((ooc: both out))
He felt the sides of his mouth turn up in a smile at the sound of Pak's voice.
[Deal.]
In the end, all he needed were his friends, anyway. The other things, they were good to have. They were worthwhile and valuable too, but Pak and Aishe made everything better. Tolerable. Functional. Meaningful. Whatever it was, he had meant it when he'd said it wouldn't be worth it without them. Family popped up in the strangest places. Evenhet might be his family, but only when he had his friends around him was he truly home.
Hopefully Pak understood that now... but just the same, he would keep reminding her.
((ooc: both out))