“That was a problem before. But I’d like to think I’m older and wiser now.”
She paused for a second, considering and after a moment shrugged slightly.
“Older at any rate.”
There were a few virtues that came with age patience, perspective, understanding and one or two others and she was going to need to work on all of them. There was simply no way she could or would always be the first priority. As long as she came first occasionally, that would be enough. At least she hopped it would.
“You almost sound as if you speak from experience.”
She’d had students this young woman’s age and most would never have approached the problem this way. Some would have, but they were few and far between and usually something special. However, if she’d learned nothing else from her years of teaching it was not to underestimate youth.
Passing interest ((open))
October had brought with it a slight dip in temperatures for the Eastern coast. The first hints of fall stirred to life as the wind blew just a bit cooler, sending those walking up and down the Strip moving on their way a little faster. Yet despite that, or perhaps because of it, tonight the little corner cafe's sidewalk tables were nearly at capacity. Laughter and chatting voices floated on the breeze with the smells of fresh coffee and hot chocolate. Shoppers moved up and down the rows of stores taking advantage of a plethora of sales.
Slumped down in her wrought iron chair slightly, a young blond girl absent mindedly toyed with the end of one of her long pigtail style braids as she read the newspaper. Fresh faced, sporting a soft golden tan and deceptively youthful looking she drew admiring glances but no one approached her. The hoodie of her heather grey top was tossed back, and the rhinestones of the crown design glinted occasionally as they caught a passing headlight. Her long, well shaped dancer's legs stretched out under the glass topped table and were propped up in the chair across from her. The torn and tattered denim jeans molded to her tightly and dissapeared into the top of her soft, antique black leather boots. Her ankles were crossed and one foot tapped lightly against the arm of the chair in agitation, or perhaps from a few too many cups of the coffee sitting in front of her.
Looking up from yet another troubling article on the current financial mess, Amberelle folded the newspaper and tossed it down beside a plate of obviously picked at croissants. The Anantya made a face at the headlines and wondered if her money would have been better off staying in the large footlocker she used to keep it in before letting it be invested for her. A long sigh slipped out as her mind started down that road and she slumped down a little more. It wasn't a subject she wanted to deal with. No tonight she just wanted to relax.
Her golden eyes darted around the crowd, her brain free to wander as she indulged in what was always a favorite pass time at home. People watching could fill hours, and let her simply zone out and think. Something she was in need of. Not even the fall fashion sales were interesting her at the moment. Lately nothing much was. It wasn't good, and she acknowledged that.
It was there in the back of her mind as the holiday approached, but so far the vampire had managed to avoid it. It had been almost a year and the nightmares hadn't faded much. Though it had been a seriously bad year in her opinion. One she would be glad to see done. Well, maybe. Who knew what the next one was bringing? Or, what it wasn't. Shaking her head she grabbed up her cup and took a large sip of the lukewarm coffee, hoping something would catch her interest to distract her.
Nikhila
15 years ago
Amberelle DeEspionne
15 years ago
Amberelle just grinned at Nikhila. If only age brought wisdom, she thought with a mental shrug. But she knew from experience it didn't. The blond knew people whose age could be measured in centuries and they were really no wiser than anyone her age. It was the willingness to learn and grow that made all the difference. And, it sounded like the Indian woman was willing to learn from the past which was what mattered.
Her mouth scrunched to the side for a second and the Anantya nibbled on her inner lip. It certainly couldn't hurt to open up a tiny bit, the other woman had. After the briefest of hesitation, Amby nodded slightly.
Oui, I have.. my friend, he and I... well.. A soft sigh and she looked over and gave Nikhila a rueful smile. He was very up front about his.. obligations and work, and how they would always have to come first. Sitting back in her chair, her right foot twitched some in annoyance when she thought back over some of their past. Honor and duty first, always. No promises, just today.. even when they both wanted tomorrow too.
After a slight pause, she continued. It probably sounds sad or crazy.. but I decided I could be happy coming second, if it meant I could have him. And, she nodded firmly once, I don't regret it. Second priority or not it's still more than I would have hoped for so.. I'm able to accept it. Even if he's been away for a long while now because of those things.
Chuckling, her face brightened with a lopsided smile. I know we both have time.. So I don't mind.
Her mouth scrunched to the side for a second and the Anantya nibbled on her inner lip. It certainly couldn't hurt to open up a tiny bit, the other woman had. After the briefest of hesitation, Amby nodded slightly.
Oui, I have.. my friend, he and I... well.. A soft sigh and she looked over and gave Nikhila a rueful smile. He was very up front about his.. obligations and work, and how they would always have to come first. Sitting back in her chair, her right foot twitched some in annoyance when she thought back over some of their past. Honor and duty first, always. No promises, just today.. even when they both wanted tomorrow too.
After a slight pause, she continued. It probably sounds sad or crazy.. but I decided I could be happy coming second, if it meant I could have him. And, she nodded firmly once, I don't regret it. Second priority or not it's still more than I would have hoped for so.. I'm able to accept it. Even if he's been away for a long while now because of those things.
Chuckling, her face brightened with a lopsided smile. I know we both have time.. So I don't mind.
Nikhila
15 years ago
“No. No, it doesn’t sound crazy at all.”
It sounded terribly familiar. After all isn’t that where she was with things? No wonder Amberelle had related so well to what she had said about her own relationship. Although it also sounded like Amberelle was handling things much much better than she had, or was.
Time and distance were a terrible strain on a relationship. However, something about the way Amberelle had explained things made Nikhila suspect there was at least some communication involved. Perhaps not a lot but certainly one of them hadn’t taken off with out saying anything.
“Somehow I suspect he feels the distance as well. Are you able to keep in touch with him at all?”
It sounded terribly familiar. After all isn’t that where she was with things? No wonder Amberelle had related so well to what she had said about her own relationship. Although it also sounded like Amberelle was handling things much much better than she had, or was.
Time and distance were a terrible strain on a relationship. However, something about the way Amberelle had explained things made Nikhila suspect there was at least some communication involved. Perhaps not a lot but certainly one of them hadn’t taken off with out saying anything.
“Somehow I suspect he feels the distance as well. Are you able to keep in touch with him at all?”
Amberelle DeEspionne
15 years ago
Tension she didn't even realize had invaided her drained from her shoulders and she breathed a little easier. It was nice to hear someone actually understood her decisions. Sometimes Amberelle wasn't even sure that she did.
Reaching up and tucking an errant lock of blonde hair behind her ear when a breeze caught it, she nodded to Nikhila. I think he does.. The first year or so we had a lot of contact.. thank goodness for the internet and modern communications, right? She smiled brightly at the other woman though she did shrug with a soft exhale as she added, Though recently things have been harder. He works in finance so you can imagine with everything turning upside down lately... he stays busy. Always something happening around the world recently, huh? Her eyes strayed to the folded newspaper she'd been reading earlier and its dour predictions and she make a "yuck" face. It made her wish all over again that she'd left it all safely in her little trunk in her closet.
Add to it time differences and schedules and everything else... well, it takes its toll. But, she shifted in her seat some and tucked her long legs up against the chair as she looked a little thoughtful, it may sound funny but knowing that there are second times around for other people... Amby gestured slightly to Nikhila, makes it easier.
Reaching up and tucking an errant lock of blonde hair behind her ear when a breeze caught it, she nodded to Nikhila. I think he does.. The first year or so we had a lot of contact.. thank goodness for the internet and modern communications, right? She smiled brightly at the other woman though she did shrug with a soft exhale as she added, Though recently things have been harder. He works in finance so you can imagine with everything turning upside down lately... he stays busy. Always something happening around the world recently, huh? Her eyes strayed to the folded newspaper she'd been reading earlier and its dour predictions and she make a "yuck" face. It made her wish all over again that she'd left it all safely in her little trunk in her closet.
Add to it time differences and schedules and everything else... well, it takes its toll. But, she shifted in her seat some and tucked her long legs up against the chair as she looked a little thoughtful, it may sound funny but knowing that there are second times around for other people... Amby gestured slightly to Nikhila, makes it easier.
Nikhila
15 years ago
Ah the internet, that would have made things much easier. But it was a relatively recent development and it certainly wasn’t available all the places she’d been. Although it had helped some what, she’d always preferred writing an actual letter feeling there was more of a connection that way but email had its place and she’d grown to appreciate it.
She’d pressed her lips together at the phrase ‘the first year’ goodness that didn’t sound encouraging at all. The first year she’d been gone she had honestly expected Xeph to find her. At least it sounded like the young woman had more realistic expectations.
“Time zones certainly don’t help anything to say nothing of the date line. But at least you’re still trying to stay in touch. Its not the only thing but it does make a difference.”
Nikhila offered an encouraging smile. Having some contact with Xeph had made her feel a bit better, more secure some how, connected to the Pack. What a shame her young companion didn’t have a pack for some support.
A light laugh escaped at the idea that she was some help. If only Amberelle knew how badly she’d messed up. At least she was trying to put things right though, perhaps that counted for something.
“I’m not sure I’m the best example but you are right it is better knowing you’re not the only one trying to make something a bit more trying than a regular relationship work.”
Delicately finishing the last of her coffee she asked,
“Have you thought about going to him if he isn’t able to come to you?”
She’d pressed her lips together at the phrase ‘the first year’ goodness that didn’t sound encouraging at all. The first year she’d been gone she had honestly expected Xeph to find her. At least it sounded like the young woman had more realistic expectations.
“Time zones certainly don’t help anything to say nothing of the date line. But at least you’re still trying to stay in touch. Its not the only thing but it does make a difference.”
Nikhila offered an encouraging smile. Having some contact with Xeph had made her feel a bit better, more secure some how, connected to the Pack. What a shame her young companion didn’t have a pack for some support.
A light laugh escaped at the idea that she was some help. If only Amberelle knew how badly she’d messed up. At least she was trying to put things right though, perhaps that counted for something.
“I’m not sure I’m the best example but you are right it is better knowing you’re not the only one trying to make something a bit more trying than a regular relationship work.”
Delicately finishing the last of her coffee she asked,
“Have you thought about going to him if he isn’t able to come to you?”
Amberelle DeEspionne
14 years ago
Her mouth immediately opened to reply as she inhaled then she stilled. Amberelle found the question funny and yet saddening at the same time. Had she thought about it? Would every night be an acceptable answer? Yet that would then invite the unavoidable follow up of "why don't you then?" Her lips closed slowly as her amber eyes dropped down and to the right, a slight mmm noise escaped as her breath came out in a deflating omph, barely audible over the background sounds of the evening crowd.
I... I ummm well yes of course, a few times but there's just... things. Reasons. I need to be here and just... the blonde shrugged a shoulder some, her eyes not quite coming up to meet Nikhila's. It's not something I can do right now. Truth be told the reason why she had not caught a flight and never looked back was simple - fear. Of her sire, of the unknown and of making a mistake. Knowing what she wanted was one thing but sometimes Amberelle DeÉspionne was far too cautious for her own good and she knew it. Taking that step, making the change.. it was terrifying. After all, it had taken her ten years to finally leave New Orleans after her turning and that was despite the abusive and controlling ancient she called Sire making her want to run away every second of her life. Each action had to be weighed, assessed and thought through. Then all of the careful planning, the meticulous forethought into the how and when. How could you explain to a total stranger any of that?
Finally forcing her gaze upwards after several seconds she affected a bright smile, slipping behind the mask just a little as her guard came up. With a playfully wistful sigh Amby's tone was bright as she quiped Still, there is always tomorrow right? Thing could change.. will change. I have all the time in the world. And that last statement was truer than the pretty Indian would could possibly guess.
Her cell phone began to pulse, the small silver device rattling against he wrought iron table almost making the Anantya jump. Looking at it her entire expression changed, softening as her lips curled up in a smile that made her seem to glow. Wanting to slap her forehead for losing track of time she snatched it up and turned to the other woman with an appologetic look.
Nikhila I'm sorry... I have to get this.. Even if she had wanted to wait to answer, dawn was coming there soon so there was not much time for a chat. Standing, Amberelle pulled several bills from her pants pocket as she flipped open the phone and cradled it between her shoulder and ear. Her voice was soft as she spoke a greeting in French. Gathering up her newspaper and handbag to head back to her car, Amberelle paused and held her fingers over the phone lightly as she looked backwards.
It was nice meeting you Nikhila! I hope your dinner goes good.. Just remember to make each other your priority now, oui? She waved, genuinely wishing them both well. For a brief moment Amby wished they could have talked more, that maybe she could have found out why neither of them had taken that leap and gone to the other. It had been more reassuring than she'd thought to hear someone else had been through these things and still was finding a way to make it work out in the end. And, maybe their reasons would have helped the young vampire to figure out what to do.
But right now her priority was calling.
(( Amby out pending response ))
I... I ummm well yes of course, a few times but there's just... things. Reasons. I need to be here and just... the blonde shrugged a shoulder some, her eyes not quite coming up to meet Nikhila's. It's not something I can do right now. Truth be told the reason why she had not caught a flight and never looked back was simple - fear. Of her sire, of the unknown and of making a mistake. Knowing what she wanted was one thing but sometimes Amberelle DeÉspionne was far too cautious for her own good and she knew it. Taking that step, making the change.. it was terrifying. After all, it had taken her ten years to finally leave New Orleans after her turning and that was despite the abusive and controlling ancient she called Sire making her want to run away every second of her life. Each action had to be weighed, assessed and thought through. Then all of the careful planning, the meticulous forethought into the how and when. How could you explain to a total stranger any of that?
Finally forcing her gaze upwards after several seconds she affected a bright smile, slipping behind the mask just a little as her guard came up. With a playfully wistful sigh Amby's tone was bright as she quiped Still, there is always tomorrow right? Thing could change.. will change. I have all the time in the world. And that last statement was truer than the pretty Indian would could possibly guess.
Her cell phone began to pulse, the small silver device rattling against he wrought iron table almost making the Anantya jump. Looking at it her entire expression changed, softening as her lips curled up in a smile that made her seem to glow. Wanting to slap her forehead for losing track of time she snatched it up and turned to the other woman with an appologetic look.
Nikhila I'm sorry... I have to get this.. Even if she had wanted to wait to answer, dawn was coming there soon so there was not much time for a chat. Standing, Amberelle pulled several bills from her pants pocket as she flipped open the phone and cradled it between her shoulder and ear. Her voice was soft as she spoke a greeting in French. Gathering up her newspaper and handbag to head back to her car, Amberelle paused and held her fingers over the phone lightly as she looked backwards.
It was nice meeting you Nikhila! I hope your dinner goes good.. Just remember to make each other your priority now, oui? She waved, genuinely wishing them both well. For a brief moment Amby wished they could have talked more, that maybe she could have found out why neither of them had taken that leap and gone to the other. It had been more reassuring than she'd thought to hear someone else had been through these things and still was finding a way to make it work out in the end. And, maybe their reasons would have helped the young vampire to figure out what to do.
But right now her priority was calling.
(( Amby out pending response ))