Moving Forward (attn: Lily)

At first glance nothing seemed out of order. The table cloth was perfectly pressed and immaculately white, the sliverware was laid out with almost military precision and a glass of water sat, barely touched, at the one o'clock position from the solitary diner. The only diner at the table also seemed in perfect order, irreproachably neat and tidy, slightly stylish but also slightly subdued, not nearly as fashionable or made up as some of the other patrons. Nothing out of order at all, not if you only glanced in her direction. If you watched for any length of time, however, the snow white napkin seemed to have a life of its own. It was folded on the table, then unfolded on her lap, and then back on the table.

Typically Nikhila was very good at waiting. However, it wasn't every day you had an epiphany. One day she'd like to have an epiphany that might win her the Noble Prize; today's seemed more important than that though. She folded her napkin again, this time in a triangle rather than a square.

She needed to talk to some one about it, and did the only thing she could think of. She sent Lily a note, a polite invitation to tea. The Piazza, she was told, did an excellent high tea. She unfolded her napkin and placed it in her lap, reminding herself that Lily was not late she was actually quite a bit early. But it couldn't be helped, she couldn't wait in her office or rooms or any where on the grounds any longer; as it was she half expected Xeph to come around the corner and into the dinning room.

Taking the napkin from her lap she folded it into a bishop's miter and set it on the table again. The thing was that Lily could be just the wrong person to talk to. After all it would only be fair and logical that she be slightly biased towards her son. Perhaps she hadn't forgiven Nikhila for leaving. The miter was undone and the napkin became a rectangle. Would she even understand why she'd left? The rectangle was again a square. How did one even begin this conversation? And the napkin was again placed neatly in her lap.

Lily 15 years ago
Lily entered the Piazza five minutes ahead of time, making her way to the parlor that hosted during tea. She had left Nikhila's note back at the Den in her suite and come to the Piazza by way of chauffeured car. She had yet to get a license to drive in the US, and either way she didn't have a car. It was simple enough though, to find someone from the Security team willing to accompany her.

One or two people turned her way as she passed through the hotel lobby, but Lily was used to that. She had been a Stafford, after all, before she became a Xephier, although both names were equally prestigious in certain circles. She had expected somewhat less notoriety here in the States, but she realized belatedly she shouldn't have. Americans were typically nosy people; she had been slightly surprised to find even more of them recognized her face than in Scotland or Australia or any of the other numberous places she'd traveled to with Liam.

Waving away the hostess at the entrance to the parlour, Lily made her way to where she saw Nikhila. The young woman appeared lost in thought, fidgeting uncharacteristically with her linen napkin. Nikhila's note had been brief, but she'd asked for some kind of assistance. It didn't seem to be about her current assignment, so Lily's curiosity was piqued.

All this counseling; first Marthinus and now Nikhila. It was not the position Lily was accustomed to being in. Normally she was somewhat aloof from the Pack although she knew that had been largely due to Liam's possessive nature. Now that she was here in Nachton, Aidan and Iov both seemed determined to thrust her into as many social positions as possible; Lily didn't mind, and in fact was enjoying the freedom of being able to be seen with whom she liked, when she liked, but it did make her a little nervous to have people depending on her for advice when she'd been so sheltered for so long.

She came up to the table silently and smiled at Nikhila's preoccupation. "Hello again, Nikhila," she said softly as she seated herself. "Are you well?"
Nikhila 15 years ago
Her thoughts apparently kept her from seeing things that were right in front of her face. She didn't notice Lily until she heard the other woman's voice. She smiled, somewhat shyly, at Lily and for the first time realized what she was doing with her napkin. Embarrassed she stopped making another bishop's miter and discreetly folded the napkin and laid it back on the table.

"Yes, quite. Thank you."Â?

That was only a small lie and a social necessity as well.

"Yourself? I hope you've gotten settled here."Â?

Now she was just stalling for time. Her long elegant fingers intertwined with each other and twisted nervously. She still hadn't worked out quite how to brooch the topic. Of course, if she couldn't bring it up with Lily she was doomed with Xeph.

Still trying to plot out her attack she caught one or two other people looking their way. Not at her though, at Lily. This only served to remind Nikhila there would have been people looking at Xeph too.


"Thank you for coming."Â? She hesitated slightly, "I'm not quite sure how to start. Perhaps we should order first?"Â?
Lily 15 years ago
Lily arranged her skirt as she sat so that it fell artfully around her. Straightening the line of her shirt as well, she used the slight movements to let Nikhila gather herself.

"I'm settling in very well," she said. "Aidan and Iov are both quite attentive, although my needs are few. It's very different from Canberra here, but I'm enjoying seeing the sights."

Nikhila's thanks she waved away with a little smile. Lily would have done anything for her son's former aipa. In so many ways she had seen Nikhila as one of her own, particularly since the two of them had been inseparable for several years after Nikhila had joined the Pack. What had happened, she was uncertain. She knew some of it but not, she suspected, the entire story. Regardless, she still saw Nikhila as hers, in a way.

"Of course," she acquiesced to the younger woman's suggestion. "I've heard excellent things about the food here, and I've been wanting to come here for tea. I'm glad you invited me."

There it was; if nothing else, if she couldn't help Nikhila with whatever problem she had, then at least they could enjoy an afternoon haviing tea.
Nikhila 15 years ago
It took Nikhila half a second to connect the name Iov with Hammer. For some reason though it didn’t strike her at all odd that Lily would refer to Hammer by his given name.

“I’ve always enjoyed the differences when I’ve traveled. But it’s the similarities that stand out the most.”

While she’d have no problems relegating this whole meeting to small talk Nikhila was determined to get to the point. So, she nodded to a server who had been circling since her arrival. Circling discreetly, but circling nonetheless; as if he was afraid, Nikhila would just take up space and never order.

She very quickly ordered tea for two requesting oolong tea, although she did look to Lily to accept or veto that suggestion. While particular about her teas, what Nikhila was really looking forward to was the clotted cream. Nervous and flustered or not clotted cream was a treat and not to be over looked.

Once the server left with there order she took a deep steadying breath and blundered forward.


“I am glad you came. I have a bit of a personal problem and I’m not sure how to proceed. In fact, I’m not sure if I should proceed. Perhaps it would be best to let sleeping dogs,” wolves, “lie as it were.”

Seeing that her fingers were again twisted together betraying her nervousness she decidedly placed her hands neatly in her lap, determined to show at least some confidence.

“You see, it’s about your son…”

And there her nerve and her plan left her. What did one say after that?
Lily 15 years ago
Lily responded politely to Nikhila's conversational chatter, which was all well enough. Let the woman take her time getting to her point. Lily had learned the value of patience a very long time ago and was practicing it even now.

Fortunately Nikhila seemed to want to come straight to the point, and Lily had a hunch what that point was. She hid a smile as Nikhila folded her hands into her lap and did her best to look natural. She was nervous, though. Lily's keener-than-average senses could pick that up even in their human shapes.

Nikhila's words didn't surprise Lily overmuch; she had known Nikhila for a very long time and her few months of observation had been enough that she at least saw this coming. Nonetheless she regarded the young woman gravely, giving the matter her full attention. It was obviously troubling Nikhila.

"My son? What has he done?" Raising one graceful eyebrow, she added, "Or what has he not done?"
Nikhila 15 years ago
In a very unsophisticated manner Nikhila opened and closed her mouth several times. That wasn’t the reaction she had expected from Lily at all.

“No! No,” She repeated a bit more calmly, “its nothing like that.”

Not that she knew what Lily was thinking but her expression was much like she suspected Xeph of doing something he shouldn’t have.

“I think, I think its me actually. But maybe it’s him, possibly both of us.”

She could address a class of one hundred or more with more eloquence. Hold a lecture for PhDs with more style but ask her about her Xeph and she was a mess. Had she just thought ‘her Xeph’, she was in even deeper than she’d thought.

Fortunately the tea and scones and clotted cream came and she got a brief reprieve as it was set down and served and she prepared a scone. The reprieve, however, was far too brief. Maybe, if she took this slower and addressed one specific issue at a time.


“I saw him recently with quite a charming young lady and I rather wondered if he had any one particular in his life.”

Her eyes, very clearly betrayed her feelings, she was practically begging Lily to say that Xeph wasn’t seeing any one. If he was she’d end this enter conversation here and now. If he wasn’t she’d push farther.
Lily 15 years ago
Nikhila's question took Lily aback. It was almost odd... no, it was definitely odd. She knew Nikhila's question would have something to do with Aidan, but she hadn't expected it to be that particular question. As she stirred a bit of sugar and added some lemon to her tea, she furrowed her brows slightly at Nikhila.

"I don't believe the charming young lady you're referring to is anyone but a student of his with a slight case of celebrity-worship," she said carefully, "but as to the second part of your question... Nikhila, of course there's someone particular in his life."

She tilted her head at the woman, wondering if she had missed something important.

"You must realize, of course, that our family have always been loyal to those they choose as their mate. Through good times and bad. It is why I remained with Liam for all of these years, when my heart would have led me elsewhere."

By the look on Nikhila's face, she had said something wrong. If only she had Aidan's spectacular knack for knowing exactly what was right when it was right, she could fathom what it was that was wrong. But Lily hadn't the slightest clue. She didn't understand where Nikhila was coming from.
Nikhila 15 years ago
Trying very hard to remain calm Nikhila watched Lily like a hawk, trying to find meaning in each gesture. The pronouncement that the blond was just a student brought a profound sense of relief. It was almost as if she’d been holding her breath the feeling was that palpable. For a brief second she thought she might, just might still stand a chance.

But when Lily said there was some one in his life it was as if she’d been kicked in the chest. It physically hurt. She’d been just about to thank Lily for her time and leave but she started to process what else Lily had said.

However, what she said was rather double sided. Nikhila couldn’t quite make it out.


“I’m sorry I don’t think I understand.”
Lily 15 years ago
This was getting even more convoluted than she had thought. Nikhila's lack of understanding must be attributed to her inability to explain. It was somewhat frustrating, but this was what happened, Lily supposed, when the one giving advice was ill-equipped for such a task.

"I think we might need to start at the beginning," she suggested slowly. "Just what is it you need clarification on?"

Suddenly, the realization of what Nikhila had asked came crashing down upon her, and combined with what she herself had said in response, Nikhila's subsequent confusion. Understanding dawned on Lily's face with a good measure of disbelief.

"Nikhila... I think I see. When you asked me if there was someone in particular, I thought maybe you were suggesting that there was someone else. Someone, ah, new?" She couldn't quite get the words out to suggest that perhaps Aidan was unfaithful.

"There has only ever been one mate in my son's life, and while she has been far away she has been no less dear to him than when he Gifted her."

She fixed her bright green eyes on Nikhila quite pointedly. "I know something passed between the two of you, but I don't know the details. All I can tell you is that before and after you, there's been no one in Aidan's life to take your place in his affections."
Nikhila 15 years ago
The beginning? Nikhila looked truly bewildered. Where was the beginning? She didn’t know any more it all seemed to blend together. The mountains? Australia? Her leaving? Arriving in Nachton? Where was the beginning this time?

Thankfully something seemed to click with Lily and Nikhila found herself nodding. Yes! That’s just what she was trying to ask. Some one new, different, some one… not her. She was not, however, prepared for Lily’s answer. She froze with the teacup half way to her mouth and very nearly asked who else Xeph had gifted recently.

No longer interested in the tea she set it back down on its pretty and delicate saucer. Willing herself to be calm and logical she flatly admitted,


“I think I might have made a very bad mistake. And I’m not sure how to fix it.”

She very much had expected Xeph to have moved on. To have found an appropriate mate for an Alpha, not some one who couldn’t aid the pack and who ran away confused by their roll in their new family.

Part of her was elated by this news but part of her was very ashamed and felt she had cheated Xeph out of something.
Lily 15 years ago
Nibbling delicately at a scone, Lily swallowed, dabbed at her mouth with her napkin, and said, "Why don't you tell me what's been going on? Maybe I can help you straighten it out a bit."

She hadn't realized Nikhila didn't think of herself as Aidan's mate. It had been readily apparent to her, just from his letters, that Nikhila was very much in his thoughts even though he hadn't seen her in years. Lily, for her part, had never counseled him to move on. She believed in fidelity and loyalty. Aidan had given a part of himself to Nikhila, and it was hers until she recalled it. Her son viewed it the same way.

Certainly, there had been some temptation in his way, but to her knowledge Aidan had done nothing more than a casual date here or there. Not only did his many official functions not allow him the time, but his heart wasn't truly in it and Aidan wasn't one to toy with someone else's emotions.
Nikhila 15 years ago
Nikhila did take a sip of her tea trying to compose her thoughts. She didn’t know how far to go back. She ultimately decided to start with current events.

“I’m sure he must have told you about my… visitors. I think that might have knocked some sense into me.”

Almost literally. She had truly never questioned the fact that Xeph would come if she needed him. It sounded hopelessly corny and romantic but she had that much faith in him.

“It more than that though. I’ve missed him for quite some time, years I suspect. Its just,”

She fished for the right words. It was delicate and something that she wasn’t terribly clear on herself.

“I’m not sure how to explain that to him or if he’d still be interested. You see I thought I was in the way and I don’t want to be a burden to him, or you or the pack.”
Lily 15 years ago
Lily listened to Nikhila as she began to speak. When she mentioned the men in her office, Lily shook her head. "He did, and I must apologise. I had no idea anything like that would happen, Nikhila. I'm grateful that Aidan was able to help you, especially if it brought some of these revelations to light."

A soft smile crossed her lips. Nikhila's voice was somewhat hesitant, as if she wasn't sure if she was starting her story in the right place. It didn't matter though; she and Lily had all afternoon to piece it together and work it out.

When Nikhila paused to let her speak, Lily said, "Again, I think you misunderstand Aidan. I believe he knows how you felt, at least now, he knows. There is nothing to explain or excuse. The important thing is, how do you feel now? Are you a burden?"

She regarded the dark-skinned were across from her seriously. Her answer was important. Everyone had their place in the Pack, and everyone needed to know and understand his or her own worth. Aidan had stayed apart from Nikhila this whole time to let her learn that; with the Alpha standing over her shoulder, there was no way Nikhila would have grown out of her shell and into the woman she was now. Aidan, with his particular insight, had seen it coming, had known that to stay with her would only harm her in the long run.

But did Nikhila see that now?
Nikhila 15 years ago
Nikhila nodded slowly. Yes, she was almost glad that she’d been attacked. It was silly that it took something that extreme to bring her to her senses, but at least something had.

Now? Nikhila blinked and considered the question carefully.


“No. No, I don’t think I could say that now. I’ll admit sometimes I’m not certain I’m doing all that I can for the pack, but that’s rather my own fault. It can be quite hard to be useful if one isn’t in one spot for very long.”

She would probably always worry about being a burden, but that had a great deal to do with her life before being Gifted. Even that worry could be a strength, she would undoubtedly always do what she could to contribute when and where she could.

“I’ll be the first to admit that I have my weaknesses, but then so does everyone and we all have our strengths as well. Its simply a matter or knowing them and using them where they are needed.”

Case in point, her working on this blood sample project and attempting to act as dean here in Nachton. She might not be the only one who could do these jobs, but the point was they needed to be done and she could do them well.
Lily 15 years ago
Lily beamed at Nikhila. That was the answer she had been hoping to hear. Those words from Nikhila meant she had finally begun to outgrow the insecurity that had made her run in the first place. She understood now, at last, that her particular strengths and weaknesses did not make her any less family.

It was a lesson all Kadzait, be they Illamar or Amaroq, had to learn at some point. It seemed harder to understand for those who were not born to the Pack, but with time they could be mae to understand. It had been a long wait, Lily knew, for Aidan. Letting Nikhila run had been difficult for him but he had known it had to be done and he let it happen.

"I'm proud of you," she said to Nikhila. "You've grown so much since you joined us."

She took another delicate bite of the scone on her plate; it wasn't her normal fare but Lily was capable of getting by. She went through the gestures in public, since every reporter she knew would pounce on the idea of the Stafford matriarch tearing into a raw steak with gusto.

"So now that you've come to realize all this, you still miss Aidan on top of it. It's been so long. How would you have expressed your interest to him twenty years ago?"

Lily sipped at her tea while she let Nikhila ponder the answer to that one. Inside, her heart was dancing. She loved her son, and she loved the woman he'd chosen for his mate so long ago. That they'd separated for so long had made her sad, but now at last was the chance for them to set things right. Her marriage had ultimately been an unhappy one; that didn't need to be the case for her son.
Nikhila 15 years ago
Rather surprised by the praise Nikhila broke eye contact and modestly looked down at her plate. Although, as she thought about it Lily was quite right, she’d always had the strength and courage she had now she just hadn’t known it. But wandering for several decades taught a person a great deal about themselves.

That didn’t change the fact that she had felt rather abandoned by Xeph, from time to time. He’d had a great number of responsibilities of course, but this was something she needed to discuss with him, not Lily.

Lily, however, voiced her next question for her. How to approach Xeph with all of this? She didn’t even know how to start. But twenty years ago… Her dark eyes flicked up to meet Lily’s and she blushed.


“I would have tackled him. I’m afraid I wasn’t much for subtlety at the time, at least not in some regards.”

That wasn’t something one would ordinarily say to one’s boyfriend/lover/gifter/mate’s mother. However, the time for subtlety had past and certainly, Lily had to know.
Lily 15 years ago
Lily gave Nikhila a conspiratorial little grin, green eyes alight with mischief. When it came to insights regarding her son, Lily was well aware, of course, that she didn't have Nikhila's sort of "intimate" knowledge, but what she did know was something about her son's feelings, and how little they had changed toward this woman over the years.

"So," she said delicately, sipping at her tea once more, "what makes you think you should change your approach?"

Raising her brows at Nikhila, Lily continued, "There is one thing all men have in common. They're stupid at times."

With an apologetic little sile, she went on. "The one thing Aidan has learned over the years is to give you room; as much as you need. It has become habit for him, and if you want him to change his opinion it will be up to you. You took matters into your own hands when you left so many years ago, Nikhila. If you want to change them, it must be you who makes the first move."

That thing, she knew to be a certainty. Aidan would never make a forward move for Nikhila as long as he breathed, unless he knew she had invited it. Her son was a proud man, and once his word was given, even as tacit as it had been, he wouldn't go back on it.
Nikhila 15 years ago
Nikhila’s blush deepened, but with some effort she managed to control things and very nearly returned to her normal dusky coloring; with only a slightly pink tinge.

“Well for a while I… and you see… I wasn’t at all certain he still wanted me. I’m not terribly good at rejection.”

And she had a tendency to think more with her head than with her heart as well. That was a bit closer to the truth. Odd how much easier it was to think with her heart when he held her though. Under the circumstances, she wished she were a bit more romantic, forward and alluring. This was so much easier when they’d first met.

She appreciated Lily’s direct answer though. She understood that. While she didn’t understand why Xeph had felt she need so much space, when she was worried she was of no use she understood what Lily said. If she could just make the first move…

No more excuses. No more beating about the bush. This needed to be resolved one way or the other. Even if, god forbid, Lily was wrong about Xeph’s feelings for her.


“You know I don’t even remember who made the first move originally. I only remember that they all worked so well.”

Thoughtfully sipping her tea she nodded determinedly.

“I think you might be right. I just need a plan of attack, but” She smiled rather impishly, “I think I should come up with that on my own.”
Lily 15 years ago
Lily smiled widely. "How you make it is up to you," she said. "I don't think you'll have to fear rejection. My son has only ever had one mate. You may have traveled, dear, but you never left his heart."

Of course, in her own heart Lily wanted to see this work. She wanted to believe that a true love, a healthy love, could exist. Aidan and Nikhila would have their fair share, perhaps more, of stumbling blocks and obstacles. If they kept with it though, they would get by. Of that she was sure.

"As for a plan of attack," she said with an innocent air, "if Aidan is anything like his father, I would recommend a two by four."

((ooc: Lily and Nikhila out))