Home, sort of.

A tall, lean figure glided ghostlike through the night, heedless of any activity around it. It headed toward the harbor, and then turned off into the section of private residences nearby, tidy, middleclass homes that stood in nice little rows one right after the other, seemingly out of place in the bustling city.

Kem mounted the few steps to his home in Nachton, not really recognizing anything around him. Fumbling with his keys, he opened the door and stepped into the familiar little house. It had been locked up for nearly a year while he was gone, but he'd paid a cleaning service to keep it fresh, and they'd apparently done a good job.

It was, in a way, good to be back. He dropped his few bags just inside the doorway, uncharacteristically disorganized. Letting the door swing shut behind him, Kem shuffled blearily into the bedroom. Without undressing, he let his lean frame collapse onto the bed. He lay there for a long time, eyes open. To close them would just be to let in more unwanted thoughts, more unsettled feelings.

Aishe was on his mind; she'd taken up permanent residence there and refused to leave him be. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Oh, but oh, it had hurt to leave her, but what else could he have done? The problems it would have caused, staying with her...

She'd surprised him at every turn. Not only had he found in her someone who was his intellectual equal, but at every test she'd never failed him. Even when confronted with the truth of his so-called 'life' she surpassed anything he could have ever hoped for in a friend, in a partner.

And he'd left her.

With a groan, Kem turned his face into the pillow. In the few short days since he'd parted from Aishe's company, despair had dealt him a hammering blow. He'd never been known for his cheerful outlook, he reflected, but this was something new entirely. Almost amused, he realized that for once in his existence he really didn't care about dying. Or not existing. Or whatever it was he was headed for. Aishe wasn't there, and she was better off without him. It just had to be this way.

He couldn't have offered her anything. Even if he'd stayed with her he'd only have watched her grow old and die, while she would have to watch him remain eternally young, and eternally monstrous. He could never give her a family, or a normal life. Maybe she didn't want those things from him. Huh. Maybe he was blowing it all out of proportion, and all she'd wanted was a fling.

He shook his head; no, he knew what he saw in her eyes that night. She would forget him, though. She had to forget, to go on and live and be herself. Aishe was a strong woman. A stronger woman than he was a man.

Kem turned onto his side and lay there, staring at the wall. After a while he curled up, closing his eyes tightly and trying to find the strength to ignore the gnawing feeling that meant hunger. He'd been doing it all his life. He just needed to do it a bit longer, and then perhaps, if he waited long enough, he would feel nothing at all.