Your Own Mind's Prisoner (private)

Xeph woke himself up screaming for the third hour in a row. This was getting ridiculous. He sat on the edge of his bed (well, his mattress) and pressed his forehead into the palms of his hands.

In he two days since his meeting with the jackal-vampire, he'd managed to mostly heal up from the wounds inflicted upon him, the physical ones anyway. But he couldn't do anything about the mental ones.

He hadn't known vampires could do that - get into your head like that, make you do things. Or not do them. Sure as the sun was shining this morning, however, Xeph was incapable of talking about what had happened to him. He couldn't even say it to himself. Every time he tried, the commands of an evil, silken voice drifted into his head and reminded him - no, no, no. Bad doggy. It's our secret.

So many things were confusing now, things Xeph had thought he'd laid to rest. Liam had known about this man. He'd known about him, and hadn't been able to say a word about him! It didn't excuse everything he'd done wrong in his life, but it explained some of it - sort of. Knowing it made nothing better, though. Now Xeph had to face what Liam had feared so much, and Xeph was singularly unappreciative of that.

He also had to send his mother away. Or keep her here, strictly inside the confines of the Den. She'd be safe here. She had to be safe here, of all places!

Nikhila 14 years ago
One second she was curled up against him looking up into his mismatched eyes the next she was half in the air then she was kissed with great enthusiasm and then she could not breath. A gentle breathy laugh was about the only response she could manage. Apparently, he was happy! So was she, so much so that the crushing bear hug he had her in didn’t bother her.

“I will always need you.”

Perhaps the timing wasn’t perfect with some many things going wrong, threatening the Pack. But perhaps that made it perfect, they had danced around this too long it was time to go forward with the relationship. In so doing, he had managed to cross her off his Christmas list as well.

Incredibly happy she knelt straddling him slightly and kissed him with great passion. She might seem cool and reserved most of the time but some people, -very- few people got to see a different side of her.

Backing away slightly she kissed him a gain softy and let her head rest in the hollow where his neck met his shoulder still smiling.


“Which side of the hall did you want to live on?”

She teased him. It was a very practical question but spoken with humor. Neither of them had much in the way of possessions so it only barley mattered.
Xeph 14 years ago
Well, Nikhila seemed happy enough too. And Xeph wasn't about to complain when she shifted positions once more, now in a much more possessive and suggestive placement. Looking happy and disheveled in her robe and PJs... she was amazingly appealing and he didn't bother to hide his look of appreciation or the fact that his body was also thrilled with her decision and positioning.

When she asked about whose apartment, he recognized the humor in her voice and just laughed. Stroking her hair still as she rested her head against his neck he shook his head at her.


"I don't care where. You can find me an adequately-sized dog house to put on your balcony and I'd be happy."

Then he rolled his eyes upward thoughtfully. "Though, it might not fit both of us."
Nikhila 14 years ago
She couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d sat over him like this. It had been thirty plus years and she’d not had any clue where her life would take her. Then, as now, however, it seemed to lead her back to her mate. One couldn’t complain about that.

“I love you but I am not going to sleep in a dog house with you, no matter how nice. Besides, I think it would hurt.”

Nikhila was quite able to twist into any number of positions thanks to years of yoga, but she had to draw the line somewhere. Speaking of hurt…. She rocked her hips forward silently encouraging him.

She knew enough of his sleep, or lack of sleep, habits to not worry about them. It would require some adjustment for both of them and wasn’t the greatest of her worries.


“We could just flip a coin.”
Xeph 14 years ago
Xeph groaned as Nikhila moved suggestively on top of him. Yeah, he could handle moving in together. But could she? If she thought thirty-some years might have mellowed his sex drive she was about to find out otherwise. Though she'd never complained then; he couldn't imagine her complaining now. She certainly hadn't been complaining for the last few years.

"Flip a coin, roll the dice, whatever we do and however we decide, it had best involve you being naked within the next three minutes or I'm not responsible for my actions."

He was nothing if not subtle. He honestly didn't care where he lived. If Nikhila was there then wherever it as was home. They could work out the details after they had wild monkey sex on his couch. He had priorities!

With said priorities in mind he unfastened the belt of her fuzzy robe, looking very pleased with himself when it obligingly slipped off her shoulders. Her flimsy pajamas didn't leave much to the imagination and he quelled the eager wolf within, reminding himself that foreplay wasn't just Chapter One in the Joy of Sex.

Reminding himself of that fact several times, Xeph sat up far enough to be able to help divest Nikhila of her top and began to cover every inch of exposed flesh with kisses and bites.
Nikhila 14 years ago
“Minutes? We must both be getting old I remember when we did fully dressed to naked in seconds.”

She teased him. Of course some times that lead to torn clothing, but some times that was OK too.

Helping him with her robe she managed to shake it off her arms and threw it away from the couch. If they were going to start living together it seemed appropriate to begin by throwing her things around the room. Her shirt quickly followed and Nikhila tossed that in another direction.

She growled as he used his mouth roamed over her torso. Sliding down him, she returned the favor while nimble fingers occasionally tugging at the waistband of his boxers but not making any effort to remove them. Just to tug at them, to tease.
Xeph 14 years ago
"Yes. I'm so old, it's amazing I can get it up anymore," Xeph lamented. "You'd best hurry up and take advantage of me. Of it."

Her pajamas were a joke... they were teeny little scraps of silk and lace. Totally not what he'd expected to find under her robe. He growled as she tugged at his shorts and skimmed his hands along he waist of her bottoms.

"How do you sleep in these? When we live together, you should just sleep nude."

It was good enough for him, and he hadn't forgotten the feel of curling himself up around her, changed or not, with nothing between them. Even the knowledge that she had agreed to be his, finally his, forever, and that he could curl up around her nearly every night, did nothing to assuage the burning need he felt for Nikhila now. In short order he had them both naked, as requested, and was re-familiarizing himself with every little curve of her delicious body.

It didn't matter to him that they'd technically been dating for two years now; tonight marked a completely new beginning. Not until tonight had he truly felt that they might, just might, recapture the passion they'd felt when first they'd met.

And if his lovemaking was slightly more intense than usual, had an edge of desperation to it, well... it was only because he was afraid to lose her. How could she know, how could he know, what he future held in store for them? Life was dangerous, as it stood now. Xeph knew that better than anyone in the Pack currently. He had promised to protect her always, yes, and love her too. He'd let too much time go by not honoring that promise.

Xeph gazed at Nikhila, now beneath him, with loving eyes. He committed her face to memory as it was just then, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed, a faint smile on her beautiful mouth, dark fringe of lashes brushing her skin. His mate.

Before need overcame reason, however, he reached for the little package of condoms he'd been keeping in the drawer of the endtable by the couch. They'd been far too active of late for him not to be prepared... and they were far too adventurous for him to not have started bringing them along when they went out.
Nikhila 14 years ago
“That’s right I stole over here in the early morning to take advantage of your poor sweet helpless innocent self.”

It was getting harder and harder to talk. Her mouth was otherwise occupied and he was proving quite distracting.

That was better, they were both naked. Not that she was in a hurry to skip the preliminaries. Nikhila loved touching him, soft skin, firm muscle a study in contrasts. And more important hers. He was hers. She’d never wanted any one else, even when she’d run she’d not wanted anyone else. No one could take Aidan’s place.

She smiled up at him, his dual colored eyes making her slightly dizzy. The intensity of his gaze made her blush very faintly and most of that was hidden by her dark skin.

It didn’t take much to recognize what he was doing when he reached toward the end table. Nikhila deliberately reached out and stopped him, gently pulling his hand back away from the birth control and shook her head slightly. By agreeing to live together, they’d made a commitment it was time to let nature take its course.
Xeph 14 years ago
Nikhila's staying hand brought Xeph up short. Eyebrows arched in surprise, he looked back down at her. Acknowledging her slight head shake he felt warm bloom within; any remaining fear he had of coming home to find her gone vanished instantly. Nikhila wouldn't make this commitment and then disappear on him.

Still, his hand paused at the drawer of the end table. Nikhila didn't know what he knew. She didn't know the dangers they faced.

But then, there was always danger. Life didn't come with any guarantees. Xeph had tensed for a moment as Nikhila watched him with love in her eyes and trust in her open face, and he smiled down at her. Yes. He wanted a family, and he had only ever known one mate.

Removing his hand from the end table drawer, he tangled his fingers into Nikhila's and settled his weight gently upon her, feeling nothing but joy as his body met hers and he slid home. He brought his lips to hers once more, moving with her slowly as they took their time and reveled in the sensation of making love with nothing between them, as close as a man and a woman could get.
Nikhila 14 years ago
She caught the slight pause and held her breath. It was a big decision and they hadn’t blatantly talked about it; but Nikhila knew they both wanted a family. She was ready, she’d made that clear. Was he? When he came back empty handed, she let out a pent up breath and pulled him in for a surprisingly tender kiss.

They’d made the decision together and somehow, if possible, that decision made her love him more. Feeling his weight was secure, comforting it was right. When they joined, she moaned slightly. It was a beautiful sensation made more so with the knowledge that this time, it was as Aidan had said, forever.

Even knowing they had forever, they both took their time, exploring, rediscovering reveling in each other. Her hand traveled the length of his body more than once, ran through his hair, her lips kissed every part of his skin she could reach never breaking the rhythm. Climax built slowly, steadily, Nikhila wrapped her legs around him, around her mate, trying to get more of him yet giving as much of herself as she possibly could.

Finally unable to prolong things any further she called out his name and felt all her muscles go limp. All Nikhila could do was hold the man she loved and gasp for breath.
Xeph 14 years ago
When the miniature explosions finally faded from behind his eyelids, Xeph drew in a long breath and let it out slowly as he watched Nikhila. Braced upon his elbow he cupped her face in one large hand and kissed her slowly, a caress from a lover very well-satisfied, tender and gentle without any sense of urgency or need. After a minute or so he withdrew from her, sliding himself back against the couch and hugging her to him. It was a tight squeeze but he wanted that.

He tucked one arm under her head and wrapped the other around her waist after pulling the light blanket over them. As they rested he nuzzled her ear and the back of her neck, just happy for the moment to be there with her, looking toward the future instead of what had happened in their past. For the first time since seeing her again in Nachton, Xeph knew he was well and truly over it. He would never feel the need to point it out again, to somehow hurt her by throwing her guilt back at her.

No, he thought, sliding his hand down just below her waist and resting it there speculatively. From now on, they went forward. And that was all.
Nikhila 14 years ago
Nikhila curled up against Aidan and smiled. Not a huge smile, she was too tired to manage that but a soft smile; a soft happy, satisfied, satiated, exhausted smile.

Twisting one arm around behind her, she managed to rest it just about his shoulder before sighing and closing her eyes. Something had happened and all the tumblers finally clicked into place, this was right. They had taken the long way around to arrive at now, mostly her fault, but that didn’t change where they had finally arrived at.

Some day, whenever fate decided, there would be a family too. She leaned her head back a bit to look at him, still with that smile on her face. Yes, she very much wanted that. A child together, a future together, they were going to have that. Drawing his had up from her waist she kissed it softly and then returned it to where she’d taken from. She was more than happy.
Xeph 14 years ago
Nikhila's body was warm against his and her lips were soft on his hand. Xeph smiled against her dark hair and murmured sleepily to her. "I love you."

He hadn't expected this, although he'd be lying if he claimed he hadn't hoped they would reach this point again. How ironic, to have it spring up, indirectly, out of his meeting with the jackal-vampire. A ghost of an unsettling thought skirted the edges of his drowsy mind; was this how it had started for Liam, too? A whispered conversation, a coercion, a compulsion to do as he was told?

Xeph shuddered lightly but forced himself to calm down before he could disturb Nikhila. He wasn't his father. It was a litany he'd repeated to himself again and again over the course of his life, and now it took on even deeper meaning.

He wasn't Liam.

Pushing the thoughts away for the time being he lost himself in Nikhila's scent, sandalwood and sex, and something indescribable that could only be the same satisfaction he felt. he closed his eyes, finally. Just like years ago, he only really truly slept when Nikhila was there. It couldn't be more right.

He wasn't Liam.


((ooc: Xeph and Nikhila out))