Shay had gotten control of her emotions before she left the parking lot of the train depot. She had mentally gone over all the pros of her situation the entire trip home, trying to convince herself that she still had so much in her life that was good, and worth living for.
Yet when she parked in the driveway she didn't immediately get out of the car. The last time she had seen Mathias was right after their visit to the Tacharan domicile. When they had returned to the condo it had been close to daylight, so she had gone in to shower and change clothes, but then she had kissed him goodnight, and left. And while he knew of the purpose of her trip being to meet with her publisher, she hadn't told him anything about the doctor's visit.
Now that she was home, and had the bad news, she wasn't sure she could keep it from him any longer. The endoscopy they had performed on her had been a very non-invasive procedure, but she was still a bit tender. The tiny incision in her belly button was invisible to most, though she could see it, knowing it was there. So in that respect, she wasn't going to be able to assuage her sadness in lovemaking...at least not for a day or two. Nor did she feel that would be fair to Mathias, anyway. She just hoped she could evade the situation should it arise, and not raise his suspicions.
It would have been nice, if it had been that she and Mathias were long time lovers, and friends. Then she could confide in him, and seek comfort. Though she wasn't sure how much of her pain he could understand...being a man, and one with no family ties to speak of.
She laughed a soft, sad laugh, when she realized she was stalling. She knew he had probably heard the car, and now wondered why in the hell she hadn't come in yet.
Getting out of the car, she picked up her mail before walking up to the front door. Shaking the vestiges of her funk away, she took a deep breath, smiled, and walked inside.
"Honey...I'm home."
She giggled at the normalcy of her words, and thanked the gods that he was there waiting. Coming in from the darkness outside, her eyes adjusted quickly to the candlelight, and when she saw him, she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from falling back into the sad little girl who had gotten off the train.
"Did you miss me?"
She asked, in a quiet voice, full of love and hope, as she dropped her purse and coat, and walked into his arms. She smiled up at him, and pressed her mouth to his, only closing her eyes at the last second.
Welcome home
Mathias puttered around the condo. Shay would be home soon from New York and he wanted it all to be perfect. Of course his millenium of existence had not given him much experience in the field of party planning,even a small intimate one.
If anyone who knew Mathias had seen him watching FoodTV or Martha Stewart would have laughed themselves silly. But it made perfect sense to Mathias - he wanted Shay to understand how much he missed her, even briefly. Besides,that MArtha Stewart had said it was a 'good thing'.
He heard the car pull into the drive as he lit the candles and awaited his beloved's return.
Shay
18 years ago
Mathias
18 years ago
Mathias smiled at Shay's voice, a beautiful sound that reminded him of the first time he heard a choir. Harmonious,melodic and it gave a similar feeling of witnessing beauty.
Turning,he moved to intercept Shay,not content to wait for her approach. He wanted to feel her warmth cascade over him,like a blanket.
"Does the wind miss the clouds, does the sun miss the flowers, does the...err..yes love, I missed you" He chuckled. Flowery words were never his forte and he doubted an eternity with Shay could change that. It didn't mean his heart didn't spout poetry,just that his mouth had difficulty translating.
Their lips met in a soft kiss,and MAthias felt safe and content holding Shay. Ad yet - something lingered in her eyes he thought. However,Mathias knew Shay well enough not to press - whatever might trouble her would come out when she felt comfortable.
"How was New York then?"
"Honey...I'm home."
Mathias smiled at Shay's voice, a beautiful sound that reminded him of the first time he heard a choir. Harmonious,melodic and it gave a similar feeling of witnessing beauty.
Turning,he moved to intercept Shay,not content to wait for her approach. He wanted to feel her warmth cascade over him,like a blanket.
"Did you miss me?"
"Does the wind miss the clouds, does the sun miss the flowers, does the...err..yes love, I missed you" He chuckled. Flowery words were never his forte and he doubted an eternity with Shay could change that. It didn't mean his heart didn't spout poetry,just that his mouth had difficulty translating.
Their lips met in a soft kiss,and MAthias felt safe and content holding Shay. Ad yet - something lingered in her eyes he thought. However,Mathias knew Shay well enough not to press - whatever might trouble her would come out when she felt comfortable.
"How was New York then?"
Shay
18 years ago
Expecting his question, Shay had rehearsed what she would respond to him with. However, now that he had asked, she was hesitant to answer. She didn't want to lie, and she believed it was also wrong to lie by omission.
Yet she was torn. While the news she'd received was devastating to her, she imagined Mathias just wouldn't see it that way. How did she tell him that something she had believed would be an integral part of her adult life was just never going to be. How did she admit that ever since she was a small girl playing with dolls, she thought even more than getting married, and being a wife, she would one day be a mom. It had been her destiny...but no longer. How did she tell him these things and not fall completely apart...
"New York was spectacular. Lucile...my publisher...said 'Badge on the Beach' is doing great, and they expect it to hit the top ten in the next month. Plus she thinks the outline for my new book...on vampires...is super...she couldn't be happier. I should have the first advance on it sometime next week. I need to go back again in two weeks, and...will need to spend the night then, but only one night."
Shay had remained in his arms a few seconds longer, and then eased out, and moved to pick up her mail, purse, and coat. She didn't elaborate on the overnight stay. It would be then that she would have the operation. The night away would be necessary due to the anesthesia, and not being able to drive herself home afterward.
As she walked to the hall closet to hang up her coat, she smiled at the candles.
"Mathias...the candles are beautiful...what's the occasion?"
Coat hung up, she tossed her purse onto the bed in their bedroom, and then put the mail on the kitchen counter, before feeling in control enough to join him again. She slipped an arm around his waist, and hugged him, as she tugged him to the couch. Afraid if she remained standing, she'd get wobbly legged, she needed to sit down with him. She also needed a drink, in the worst way, and a cigarette would have been more than appreciated...she asked for, nor made an attempt to get either.
"What else have you been up to since I left you this morning?"
She now noticed the food and wine set out, along with the candles. Her heart filled with an incredible sense of love, when she thought about all the trouble he had gone to for her. In fact he'd done so much she couldn't see how he would have had time to have gotten much sleep.
She kept rubbing her hand up and down his back, as if she could convince herself that by acting as if nothing bad had happened...nothing bad had.
She would show him how much it all meant to her. She could now devote ALL her love to him...with no distractions of any kind.
Yet she was torn. While the news she'd received was devastating to her, she imagined Mathias just wouldn't see it that way. How did she tell him that something she had believed would be an integral part of her adult life was just never going to be. How did she admit that ever since she was a small girl playing with dolls, she thought even more than getting married, and being a wife, she would one day be a mom. It had been her destiny...but no longer. How did she tell him these things and not fall completely apart...
"New York was spectacular. Lucile...my publisher...said 'Badge on the Beach' is doing great, and they expect it to hit the top ten in the next month. Plus she thinks the outline for my new book...on vampires...is super...she couldn't be happier. I should have the first advance on it sometime next week. I need to go back again in two weeks, and...will need to spend the night then, but only one night."
Shay had remained in his arms a few seconds longer, and then eased out, and moved to pick up her mail, purse, and coat. She didn't elaborate on the overnight stay. It would be then that she would have the operation. The night away would be necessary due to the anesthesia, and not being able to drive herself home afterward.
As she walked to the hall closet to hang up her coat, she smiled at the candles.
"Mathias...the candles are beautiful...what's the occasion?"
Coat hung up, she tossed her purse onto the bed in their bedroom, and then put the mail on the kitchen counter, before feeling in control enough to join him again. She slipped an arm around his waist, and hugged him, as she tugged him to the couch. Afraid if she remained standing, she'd get wobbly legged, she needed to sit down with him. She also needed a drink, in the worst way, and a cigarette would have been more than appreciated...she asked for, nor made an attempt to get either.
"What else have you been up to since I left you this morning?"
She now noticed the food and wine set out, along with the candles. Her heart filled with an incredible sense of love, when she thought about all the trouble he had gone to for her. In fact he'd done so much she couldn't see how he would have had time to have gotten much sleep.
She kept rubbing her hand up and down his back, as if she could convince herself that by acting as if nothing bad had happened...nothing bad had.
She would show him how much it all meant to her. She could now devote ALL her love to him...with no distractions of any kind.
Mathias
18 years ago
Mathias gave Shay his most innocent smile.
"Does one need an occaison? Perhaps I simply felt the desire to light some candles,cook dinner and find a nice wine." Or he could have gotten lonely and bored without Shay around and decided to surprise her. Just another example of Shay's impact in my life, he thought. A month ago he'd not even given the solitude a thought - but time without Shay seemed less bright,more empty.
He smiled again and gave shay a wink. "Ok,truth be told, I misse dyou love and thought this would be a nice way to occupy my time. Plus that Martha Stewart is a fascinating individual!"
"Just dinner, I promise dear.And some research into a few ideas I have for writing." Mathias decided to look into Christianity's early roots in the Roman Empire and some of the Gnostic cults as well. Being part of the Eastern Church Gnosticism was not unknown to him,however some of the earliest histories were.
Mathias poured two glasses of wine,handing one to Shay before lifting his own.
"A toast. To us,and the future!"
"Mathias...the candles are beautiful...what's the occasion?"
Mathias gave Shay his most innocent smile.
"Does one need an occaison? Perhaps I simply felt the desire to light some candles,cook dinner and find a nice wine." Or he could have gotten lonely and bored without Shay around and decided to surprise her. Just another example of Shay's impact in my life, he thought. A month ago he'd not even given the solitude a thought - but time without Shay seemed less bright,more empty.
He smiled again and gave shay a wink. "Ok,truth be told, I misse dyou love and thought this would be a nice way to occupy my time. Plus that Martha Stewart is a fascinating individual!"
"What else have you been up to since I left you this morning?"
"Just dinner, I promise dear.And some research into a few ideas I have for writing." Mathias decided to look into Christianity's early roots in the Roman Empire and some of the Gnostic cults as well. Being part of the Eastern Church Gnosticism was not unknown to him,however some of the earliest histories were.
Mathias poured two glasses of wine,handing one to Shay before lifting his own.
"A toast. To us,and the future!"
Shay
18 years ago
He was so cute when he was trying to act as if what he'd done was a common, every day occurrence. She looked at him with eyes wide with amazement, knowing full well this had to be something new for him. Not that he hadn't done a brilliant job of it.
"I missed you too - crazy, huh...this time two months ago I didn't know who you were, and now I can't bear to be away from you for even a few hours. You've captured my soul Mathias...though this thing with Martha...should I be concerned? I mean, she's quite the woman...I'm afraid I can't hold a candle to her cooking abilities."
She teased. It was only minutes since she had returned home, and yet she was already feeling worlds better. If she could stay distracted she might be home free.
It was good to hear he had been working, she had been a little worried that he wouldn't feel at ease enough there.
"You were working...excellent. I hope the computer wasn't too much trouble, I really need to upgrade, but haven't had time. But that shouldn't hamper anything you need to check out on the net. Anything you want to change in the office...or anywhere else, I hope you know I want you to."
Taking the glass of wine she raised it at his indication, and joined in...
"To us..." The 'future' part she left off, hopefully not too obviously, as she downed the glass quickly. It wasn't as soothing as a double scotch would have been, but much better for her, no question.
"So it's to be just the two of us...dinner and a night in?"
"I missed you too - crazy, huh...this time two months ago I didn't know who you were, and now I can't bear to be away from you for even a few hours. You've captured my soul Mathias...though this thing with Martha...should I be concerned? I mean, she's quite the woman...I'm afraid I can't hold a candle to her cooking abilities."
She teased. It was only minutes since she had returned home, and yet she was already feeling worlds better. If she could stay distracted she might be home free.
It was good to hear he had been working, she had been a little worried that he wouldn't feel at ease enough there.
"You were working...excellent. I hope the computer wasn't too much trouble, I really need to upgrade, but haven't had time. But that shouldn't hamper anything you need to check out on the net. Anything you want to change in the office...or anywhere else, I hope you know I want you to."
Taking the glass of wine she raised it at his indication, and joined in...
"To us..." The 'future' part she left off, hopefully not too obviously, as she downed the glass quickly. It wasn't as soothing as a double scotch would have been, but much better for her, no question.
"So it's to be just the two of us...dinner and a night in?"
Mathias
18 years ago
Something was definitely amiss. Mathias 'felt' like Shay was holding back, like there was something she didn't want to share with him. He had no idea what,of course, and did not intend to press the issue right now. Better to let Shay tell him when she was comfortable.
Taking her hand in his,Mathias led Shay over to the couch, sitting down and indicating she should as well.
"While I will admit Martha's domestic talents are extraordinary...there is more to life than a well made quiche..whatever that is. Plus there is that whole felon thing - I have standards you know! No,you my love have every quality I find so appealing. Beauty,brains,passion - and for some reason you think me handsome. As I have no desire to dispel your illusion I must play along." He sighed in mock dramatic fashion. "It's a heavy cross to bear I know."
Smiling,he shifted so that Shay lay in his arms,which were draped lazily around her waist. Her weight against his chest was a comforting reminder of exactly what he had these days and Mathias could not help but feel somewhat at peace.
His eyes twinkled at Shay's suggestion.
"A night in sounds wonderful,maybe there is a movie we could watch? I must warn you however, I take any historical errors in crusader films rather personally"
He couldn't help but laugh
Taking her hand in his,Mathias led Shay over to the couch, sitting down and indicating she should as well.
"While I will admit Martha's domestic talents are extraordinary...there is more to life than a well made quiche..whatever that is. Plus there is that whole felon thing - I have standards you know! No,you my love have every quality I find so appealing. Beauty,brains,passion - and for some reason you think me handsome. As I have no desire to dispel your illusion I must play along." He sighed in mock dramatic fashion. "It's a heavy cross to bear I know."
Smiling,he shifted so that Shay lay in his arms,which were draped lazily around her waist. Her weight against his chest was a comforting reminder of exactly what he had these days and Mathias could not help but feel somewhat at peace.
His eyes twinkled at Shay's suggestion.
"A night in sounds wonderful,maybe there is a movie we could watch? I must warn you however, I take any historical errors in crusader films rather personally"
He couldn't help but laugh
Shay
18 years ago
How it was he knew just the right things to say, and do, led Shay to think he must have had a LOT of experience in situations like this. Though to hear him describe her, she guessed they were equally blinded by love.
The fact that she was probably now doing things totally bass-ackwards kept flashing in front of her eyes, but none more so than when he took her in his arms, and held her against him. At least like that, she could more easily push unhappy thoughts from her mind.
She tucked one hand under his thigh, and trailed her nails feather softly over the tops of his forearms.
"Ummm...quiche is quite good, but then I shouldn't expect you would know that. They say 'real men don't eat quiche'..."
She giggled at the silly, antiquated phrase.
"Rest securely...should you ever develop a fondness for it, it won't diminish you in my eyes...nothing could diminish you in my eyes. However, I'd be careful there, talking about yourself that way. I find you more than handsome, Alexi-Mathias, for what I see on the outside, is begun within. You are so knock out gorgeous on the inside that it just gushes out through your skin, onto the outside."
She smiled as she spoke, believing ever word she said. Lying against him like that, Shay couldn't see his face, and decided that just wouldn't do. To rectify the situation, she kicked off her boots, and carefully dug her stockinged heels into the couch, to push herself more up onto his lap. Now she could lean back in his arms, but more into the corner of the couch, and also turn towards him, to smile up into his countenance.
It was a dangerous chance she took, exposing her face to him, and giving him more opportunity to catch sight of an emotion she was trying to hide. Still, she wanted to see HIS face, and the way emotions played across it. Besides...did he really look in the mirror and not see how handsome he was?
"And yes...I suppose you must bear the burden of having me find you irresistible. I don't intend to let you go any time soon."
She smirked, and pinched his cheek. If nothing else, Shay wanted happiness for Mathias. In all his years she didn't think he had experienced near enough. So for as long as she had to be with him, she wanted to change that for the better. She wanted to give him joy...not sadness and depression.
The hand that had been tucked beneath his leg, had now wandered upwards to gently rub the faint lines on his forehead. She felt the lines there were too many for a man his visible age, and she assumed they had been caused by too many years of concern, loneliness and unhappiness. She might not be able to erase them, but she certainly wasn't going to add to them, with her worries.
"Do you feel like...'Mathias'? Or do you feel like 'Alexi'?"
It was a question that she had wondered about since he had revealed his earlier self to her. She refused to think of Alexi as Mathias' 'real' self...but rather just another facet.
"Because I can see you as both. Both names sound so regal, and exotic, quite fitting I think.
Did you know Alexi means 'helper of man'...and Mathias, 'gift of the lord'...although you chose Mathias, is that why? Did you choose it to go with your profession?"
She reached over and picked up what was left in her glass of wine, and finished it, but put the glass back, without getting up. She was more thirsty for his company now, than anything else.
The fact that she was probably now doing things totally bass-ackwards kept flashing in front of her eyes, but none more so than when he took her in his arms, and held her against him. At least like that, she could more easily push unhappy thoughts from her mind.
She tucked one hand under his thigh, and trailed her nails feather softly over the tops of his forearms.
"Ummm...quiche is quite good, but then I shouldn't expect you would know that. They say 'real men don't eat quiche'..."
She giggled at the silly, antiquated phrase.
"Rest securely...should you ever develop a fondness for it, it won't diminish you in my eyes...nothing could diminish you in my eyes. However, I'd be careful there, talking about yourself that way. I find you more than handsome, Alexi-Mathias, for what I see on the outside, is begun within. You are so knock out gorgeous on the inside that it just gushes out through your skin, onto the outside."
She smiled as she spoke, believing ever word she said. Lying against him like that, Shay couldn't see his face, and decided that just wouldn't do. To rectify the situation, she kicked off her boots, and carefully dug her stockinged heels into the couch, to push herself more up onto his lap. Now she could lean back in his arms, but more into the corner of the couch, and also turn towards him, to smile up into his countenance.
It was a dangerous chance she took, exposing her face to him, and giving him more opportunity to catch sight of an emotion she was trying to hide. Still, she wanted to see HIS face, and the way emotions played across it. Besides...did he really look in the mirror and not see how handsome he was?
"And yes...I suppose you must bear the burden of having me find you irresistible. I don't intend to let you go any time soon."
She smirked, and pinched his cheek. If nothing else, Shay wanted happiness for Mathias. In all his years she didn't think he had experienced near enough. So for as long as she had to be with him, she wanted to change that for the better. She wanted to give him joy...not sadness and depression.
The hand that had been tucked beneath his leg, had now wandered upwards to gently rub the faint lines on his forehead. She felt the lines there were too many for a man his visible age, and she assumed they had been caused by too many years of concern, loneliness and unhappiness. She might not be able to erase them, but she certainly wasn't going to add to them, with her worries.
"Do you feel like...'Mathias'? Or do you feel like 'Alexi'?"
It was a question that she had wondered about since he had revealed his earlier self to her. She refused to think of Alexi as Mathias' 'real' self...but rather just another facet.
"Because I can see you as both. Both names sound so regal, and exotic, quite fitting I think.
Did you know Alexi means 'helper of man'...and Mathias, 'gift of the lord'...although you chose Mathias, is that why? Did you choose it to go with your profession?"
She reached over and picked up what was left in her glass of wine, and finished it, but put the glass back, without getting up. She was more thirsty for his company now, than anything else.
Mathias
18 years ago
"Nor do I intend to go anywhere anytime soon,love"
He sighed contentedly as Shay's fingers traced a pattern on his face. With her he could relax,let go...Enjoy yourself? Annabelles voice tittered. Yes,enjoy myself, he thought. I will not betray any code if I smile or laugh - and this wonderous beauty in my arms won't have it any other way!
They lay there a moment,Mathias just enjoying the feel and weight of Shay. He had heard once that it wasn't always what was said,but the silences between the word - and he could understand that now. Without saying anything both he and Shay spoke volumes to one another..of love,devotion,loyalty and how much the other meant. It suited Mathias, who often found words tricky creations.
At length he thought on Shay's question.
"Mathias is the face I show the world,and Alexi is who I truly am. So outside these walls I will be Mathias,but here..just you and I..I will Alexi. "
He sighed contentedly as Shay's fingers traced a pattern on his face. With her he could relax,let go...Enjoy yourself? Annabelles voice tittered. Yes,enjoy myself, he thought. I will not betray any code if I smile or laugh - and this wonderous beauty in my arms won't have it any other way!
They lay there a moment,Mathias just enjoying the feel and weight of Shay. He had heard once that it wasn't always what was said,but the silences between the word - and he could understand that now. Without saying anything both he and Shay spoke volumes to one another..of love,devotion,loyalty and how much the other meant. It suited Mathias, who often found words tricky creations.
At length he thought on Shay's question.
"Mathias is the face I show the world,and Alexi is who I truly am. So outside these walls I will be Mathias,but here..just you and I..I will Alexi. "
Shay
18 years ago
"Alexi"
To Shay, that was who he would be, from this point on. The man inside...the man he only shared with her.
She purred, as her hand moved behind his neck, and she pulled him toward her. She knew she was treading dangerous waters here, but it was next to impossible to be with him like this, and not want more.
Besides, even if she couldn't get too physical herself, she could still please her man.
Brushing her lips against his, the tip of her tongue slipped out, and tasted his bottom lip, before venturing on inside. Her hand urged his head closer, as she explored deeper. Breathing through her nose, she gave him a soft giggle groan, as his scent swam into her.
Her other hand moved around his waist, inside his shirt and up his back, where she rubbed across the broad expanse of skin there. He completely filled her embrace, to the point where her arms almost ached from stretching.
Once she broke for air, she continued the kiss, by way of tiny nips and pecks, from his lips, down along his jawline, and up to his ear lobe. Once she began laving his ear, she moaned again softly. She liked sound during lovemaking, and because of that, she was rarely quiet, even if the moans weren't real hearty.
"I believe the wine has gone to my head, along with thoughts of you."
Leaning back again, she gazed up at him through drowsy eyes. She wasn't sleepy though, and she had to grin as she thought about how she wanted to begin their evening together.
"Maybe we can watch the movie later...or even another night..."
Her tongue snuck out between her lips and pulled her bottom lip in, where she nibbled it, and then pursed her lips. Playing coy, though not natural for her, was becoming kind of fun. She batted her eyes at him, and laughed - low, soft, and throaty.
She also knew she should eat first.
But he was such a terrible influence on her.
Her hand moved down, away from his neck, and she watched it's progress, as she moved across his shoulder, down his strong bicep, onto his chest, and downward. Once she moved beyond his stomach, she didn't tease, but moved to his crotch, and cupped him firmly. Her eyes quickly darted upward to his, and she tried to appear innocent.
"What do you think?
Before Alexi could respond...or, speak rather...he seemed to be responding fine, Shay's stomach rumbled. Loudly. One of the few things Shay had issues with, in reference to her personally, was the way her stomach growled when she needed to eat. It had been a source of embarassment ever since she started dating as a teen, and apparently it was not something she was apt to outgrow.
She looked down at the place on her body where it sounded as if a small lion was trapped, and then back at Alexi, and blushed.
"So much for my lady-like act of seduction."
Blinking, as if a lightbulb had just gone on over her head, Shay sat up.
"Hang on...I've a brilliant thought."
Kissing his nose, she eased off his lap, with just a slight shimmy over his more sensitive appendage, and quickly made her way to the kitchen. Filling up a plate with food, and grabbing the bottle of wine, she was back beside the couch in minutes. Pouring more wine into each of their glasses, she set the bottle aside, and then returned to her prior position, smiling and watching his face.
Once she was comfy again, she picked up the fork and took a huge bite, and then offered one to him.
"Okay...this is just a short intermission. We can resume our regularly scheduled program as soon as I'm fed."
She said with a wink and another bite.
To Shay, that was who he would be, from this point on. The man inside...the man he only shared with her.
She purred, as her hand moved behind his neck, and she pulled him toward her. She knew she was treading dangerous waters here, but it was next to impossible to be with him like this, and not want more.
Besides, even if she couldn't get too physical herself, she could still please her man.
Brushing her lips against his, the tip of her tongue slipped out, and tasted his bottom lip, before venturing on inside. Her hand urged his head closer, as she explored deeper. Breathing through her nose, she gave him a soft giggle groan, as his scent swam into her.
Her other hand moved around his waist, inside his shirt and up his back, where she rubbed across the broad expanse of skin there. He completely filled her embrace, to the point where her arms almost ached from stretching.
Once she broke for air, she continued the kiss, by way of tiny nips and pecks, from his lips, down along his jawline, and up to his ear lobe. Once she began laving his ear, she moaned again softly. She liked sound during lovemaking, and because of that, she was rarely quiet, even if the moans weren't real hearty.
"I believe the wine has gone to my head, along with thoughts of you."
Leaning back again, she gazed up at him through drowsy eyes. She wasn't sleepy though, and she had to grin as she thought about how she wanted to begin their evening together.
"Maybe we can watch the movie later...or even another night..."
Her tongue snuck out between her lips and pulled her bottom lip in, where she nibbled it, and then pursed her lips. Playing coy, though not natural for her, was becoming kind of fun. She batted her eyes at him, and laughed - low, soft, and throaty.
She also knew she should eat first.
But he was such a terrible influence on her.
Her hand moved down, away from his neck, and she watched it's progress, as she moved across his shoulder, down his strong bicep, onto his chest, and downward. Once she moved beyond his stomach, she didn't tease, but moved to his crotch, and cupped him firmly. Her eyes quickly darted upward to his, and she tried to appear innocent.
"What do you think?
Before Alexi could respond...or, speak rather...he seemed to be responding fine, Shay's stomach rumbled. Loudly. One of the few things Shay had issues with, in reference to her personally, was the way her stomach growled when she needed to eat. It had been a source of embarassment ever since she started dating as a teen, and apparently it was not something she was apt to outgrow.
She looked down at the place on her body where it sounded as if a small lion was trapped, and then back at Alexi, and blushed.
"So much for my lady-like act of seduction."
Blinking, as if a lightbulb had just gone on over her head, Shay sat up.
"Hang on...I've a brilliant thought."
Kissing his nose, she eased off his lap, with just a slight shimmy over his more sensitive appendage, and quickly made her way to the kitchen. Filling up a plate with food, and grabbing the bottle of wine, she was back beside the couch in minutes. Pouring more wine into each of their glasses, she set the bottle aside, and then returned to her prior position, smiling and watching his face.
Once she was comfy again, she picked up the fork and took a huge bite, and then offered one to him.
"Okay...this is just a short intermission. We can resume our regularly scheduled program as soon as I'm fed."
She said with a wink and another bite.
Mathias
18 years ago
Her touch was like cold fire to Mathias, sending chills through his body even as a warmth spread over him. their kisses tasted of wine,a delicious flavor that only added to Mathias' pleasure. It was these moments he enjoyed best. Not that their lovemaking wasn't incredible.but there something more intimate about their kisses...like a calm before the breaking storm.His hands roamed her body,sneaking under her sweater,discovering much to his delight that her breasts were not hidden from him by fabric.
He thought he should grab her,tear her clothes off and make love to her.
Shay's continued explorations were driving him wild. Well not the explorations per say,but the restraint he was exhibiting. But he also knew how she liked to take time and so he held in check his more animal side. However the deep passionate kiss he gave her was response enough, till her stomached begged to differ.
Mathias returned Shay's innocent smile. He found that this coy game she played was quite enjoyable.
" To seduce would require the other party not be hopelessly enamored of you..and we are well past that point dearheart."
"And I think we need to get you some food love."
Mathias moved as if to fix her a plate, but Shay would have none of that.
She moved off him,making sure he understood to stay right there. Mathias knew better than to argue with Shay and so he awaited her return. He watched her eat,constantly amazed at her,how comfortable he was around Shay and how comfortable she was around him.
He smiled and accepted the fork of food. Just being with her was intoxicating and Mathias felt his head swim...images of later passions made the smile grow larger. He leaned forward,kissing her ear as he whispered.
" Good,for I intend to show you precisely how much I missed...all night if needs be"
"Maybe we can watch the movie later...or even another night..."
"What do you think?
He thought he should grab her,tear her clothes off and make love to her.
Shay's continued explorations were driving him wild. Well not the explorations per say,but the restraint he was exhibiting. But he also knew how she liked to take time and so he held in check his more animal side. However the deep passionate kiss he gave her was response enough, till her stomached begged to differ.
"So much for my lady-like act of seduction."
Mathias returned Shay's innocent smile. He found that this coy game she played was quite enjoyable.
" To seduce would require the other party not be hopelessly enamored of you..and we are well past that point dearheart."
"And I think we need to get you some food love."
Mathias moved as if to fix her a plate, but Shay would have none of that.
"Hang on...I've a brilliant thought."
She moved off him,making sure he understood to stay right there. Mathias knew better than to argue with Shay and so he awaited her return. He watched her eat,constantly amazed at her,how comfortable he was around Shay and how comfortable she was around him.
"Okay...this is just a short intermission. We can resume our regularly scheduled program as soon as I'm fed."
He smiled and accepted the fork of food. Just being with her was intoxicating and Mathias felt his head swim...images of later passions made the smile grow larger. He leaned forward,kissing her ear as he whispered.
" Good,for I intend to show you precisely how much I missed...all night if needs be"
Shay
18 years ago
His words were incredibly intoxicating, and his touch like warm, electricity seeping into her skin. Normally, she would have just as quickly set the plate aside, and concentrated completely on sharing their love.
But as she felt her nipples harden, and her breasts swell to fill his hands, she also felt a painful twinge between her legs, and in her navel. It almost felt like fish hooks had been inserted up inside her, and were tied to her breasts, and as her breasts grew they tugged the internal hooks upward. She couldn't hold back a hiss, although she was able to keep it short, and quickly tried to cover it over with a groan.
His next words almost brought tears to her eyes, for she wanted nothing more, but knew it couldn't happen...not tonight...at least not for her.
"Alexi, my dear, sweet, sexy man. Tonight is for YOU."
Once she had eaten a few more bites, and shared more with him, she put the plate on the table, with her glass. Then she turned more onto her side, and slid her hands under the front of his shirt. As she played with his nipples, and the hot skin along his chest, she began bestowing his face with kisses again. Her lips moved moved down his neck, and she bit his throat, as she had begun to do in what was becoming their lovemaking ritual. But her bites were nowhere close to how his were upon her. No...she made sure her teeth only skimmed over the taught skin of his neck, and her tongue was always there following after, to sooth. Still she found it heady, to know that just below her mouth, was his lifes blood. And each time a bigger part of her wondered what it would be like to have him in that way, on a regular basis, as he had her.
She moved her hands to the bottom of his shirt, and then pushed back upwards, wanting to remove it. But as she got the front over his head, and before the sleeves were removed, it created a sort of bondage, his arms above his head, and held there by the shirt.
"Well, look at that. That's pretty darn convenient, now that I think about it."
Of course it wouldn't have taken much on his part, to pull his arms out and free himself. She thought he might like to stay that way a bit though, if for no other reason to see what she had planned. And even though she really hadn't planned it, she was enjoying all the fun scenarios running through her head now.
Even better was when she started acting them out. Which she did by continuing to caress his chest with her hand, and alternating between touching with her fingertips, and her tongue. Her hand first moving across his nipples again, and then down to his belly button. Then she toyed with the skin along his stomach, just above the waistband of his pants. Her tongue then teased the tiny little male nipple, swirling around one way, and then the next...then to be bitten and the tongue swirling repeated.
"I think this is what I will do the rest of the evening, I can watch a movie any old time...but I've never actually made you yell for me yet, have I?"
Okay, it was a bit naughty of her, but he wouldn't really mind such torture...would he? She guessed she would find out soon enough.
And something else she was finding out...by imagining her turning him on, she was increasing her own pleasure, and experiencing almost the same sharp tugging pains.
But this way it didn't bother her as much.
But as she felt her nipples harden, and her breasts swell to fill his hands, she also felt a painful twinge between her legs, and in her navel. It almost felt like fish hooks had been inserted up inside her, and were tied to her breasts, and as her breasts grew they tugged the internal hooks upward. She couldn't hold back a hiss, although she was able to keep it short, and quickly tried to cover it over with a groan.
His next words almost brought tears to her eyes, for she wanted nothing more, but knew it couldn't happen...not tonight...at least not for her.
" Good,for I intend to show you precisely how much I missed...all night if needs be."
"Alexi, my dear, sweet, sexy man. Tonight is for YOU."
Once she had eaten a few more bites, and shared more with him, she put the plate on the table, with her glass. Then she turned more onto her side, and slid her hands under the front of his shirt. As she played with his nipples, and the hot skin along his chest, she began bestowing his face with kisses again. Her lips moved moved down his neck, and she bit his throat, as she had begun to do in what was becoming their lovemaking ritual. But her bites were nowhere close to how his were upon her. No...she made sure her teeth only skimmed over the taught skin of his neck, and her tongue was always there following after, to sooth. Still she found it heady, to know that just below her mouth, was his lifes blood. And each time a bigger part of her wondered what it would be like to have him in that way, on a regular basis, as he had her.
She moved her hands to the bottom of his shirt, and then pushed back upwards, wanting to remove it. But as she got the front over his head, and before the sleeves were removed, it created a sort of bondage, his arms above his head, and held there by the shirt.
"Well, look at that. That's pretty darn convenient, now that I think about it."
Of course it wouldn't have taken much on his part, to pull his arms out and free himself. She thought he might like to stay that way a bit though, if for no other reason to see what she had planned. And even though she really hadn't planned it, she was enjoying all the fun scenarios running through her head now.
Even better was when she started acting them out. Which she did by continuing to caress his chest with her hand, and alternating between touching with her fingertips, and her tongue. Her hand first moving across his nipples again, and then down to his belly button. Then she toyed with the skin along his stomach, just above the waistband of his pants. Her tongue then teased the tiny little male nipple, swirling around one way, and then the next...then to be bitten and the tongue swirling repeated.
"I think this is what I will do the rest of the evening, I can watch a movie any old time...but I've never actually made you yell for me yet, have I?"
Okay, it was a bit naughty of her, but he wouldn't really mind such torture...would he? She guessed she would find out soon enough.
And something else she was finding out...by imagining her turning him on, she was increasing her own pleasure, and experiencing almost the same sharp tugging pains.
But this way it didn't bother her as much.
Mathias
18 years ago
The contented sighs that began in Mathias' throat when Shay's attentions started quickly grew into yelps and growls as her teeth drug across his skin. This was becoming a habit with them and Mathias found he enjoyed it more and more every time. something primal and sensual about shay doing to him in a small part what he did to her...and he wondered, is this how vampires make love?
"Yes,funny how that seemed to happen,eh love?"
Mathias smirked and flexed against the fabric bond. Mathias was not the most experienced lover - but the idea of surrendering all control to Shay began to sound more and more pleasant...and the delicious images it conjured - he shuddered in imagined ecstacy.
He sighed deeply - this was something they had yet to share - the complete ceding of control and submission to one another.
"No...and I long to give myself to your control heart of my heart...take me, make me yours" His words were almost pleading - so deep was his desire to have her torment him in the most wonderful ways.
"Shay......" his voice a husky growl,he tensed again against the bonds...he could snap the,but he loved this game they played.
Every muscle on Mathias' body tensed at her attentions, Shay's tongue and teeth on his nipples sending electric shocks throughout his body. As much as his body longed for release,Mathias wanted this indescribably erotic torment to go on forever.
"Well, look at that. That's pretty darn convenient, now that I think about it."
"Yes,funny how that seemed to happen,eh love?"
Mathias smirked and flexed against the fabric bond. Mathias was not the most experienced lover - but the idea of surrendering all control to Shay began to sound more and more pleasant...and the delicious images it conjured - he shuddered in imagined ecstacy.
"I think this is what I will do the rest of the evening, I can watch a movie any old time...but I've never actually made you yell for me yet, have I?"
He sighed deeply - this was something they had yet to share - the complete ceding of control and submission to one another.
"No...and I long to give myself to your control heart of my heart...take me, make me yours" His words were almost pleading - so deep was his desire to have her torment him in the most wonderful ways.
"Shay......" his voice a husky growl,he tensed again against the bonds...he could snap the,but he loved this game they played.
Every muscle on Mathias' body tensed at her attentions, Shay's tongue and teeth on his nipples sending electric shocks throughout his body. As much as his body longed for release,Mathias wanted this indescribably erotic torment to go on forever.
Shay
18 years ago
Seeing and hearing his enthusiastic responses almost made Shay want to get up and dance around the room. God but she found it just too incredibly mind shattering to know she could have him act this way, because of the things she did to him. Things that made him feel the way he made her feel...a way indescribable unless you had also experienced it.
As her hands sought to unfetter his pants, she kissed the soft, tight, smooth skin of his groin, alternating between feather light brushes of her lips, to swirls with her tongue and cool puffs of her breath. There wasn't enough skin for her teeth to nibble there, so she made do in other ways.
Once his pants were loosened, she slid just the tips of her fingers between his skin, and the material, and ran back and forth tugging his pants downward. Still her mouth followed her fingers and moved back and forth along the exposing flesh, as it became visible.
"Whoever said a man's body wasn't beautiful, must have never seen yours."
She whispered, in between kisses. And even with his scars, Shay only saw the beauty of his muscles, sinew, and bone, and the way they were put together.
As his pants became more difficult to move, bunching up a bit around his butt, Shay left his side just long enough to move off the couch and stand by his feet. Once she removed his shoes, and socks, she then took the hem of his pants in her hands, and tugged them down further, until they cleared all obstacles, and slid the rest of the way easily.
Once they were off, she tossed them over her shoulder, and picked up one of his feet. Holding it firmly, she began to squeeze it, and massage it between both her hands. Once she felt she had paid it appropriate homage, she did the same for the other, and ended with kisses to each of his big toes. She wasn't sure if it was an action he would find at all sensual, but that wasn't the sole reason behind it. Her agenda was to make love to the 'whole' man, and that was what she was doing.
Circling his ankles, one at a time, with both hands, Shay began running her fingers up his legs, paying more attention to his calves, and knees, than his shins. He wasn't an overly hairy man, which she liked, but he was enough so that he was quite masculine looking...and feeling.
Continuing her massage, her hands now moved up his thighs, and it was then she began using her mouth again. Each caress, and each kneading touch, was followed by a kiss, or suck, or tonguing. She loved the way he tasted, and in the middle of that thought she giggled, as it occurred to her there wasn't anything she could think of, that she didn't love about him.
She had initially thought she would now turn him over, and treat his backside to similar actions. But she could see his manhood straining upwards, pulsating with need, and altered her journey.
"Later...I'll continue on the flip side...don't let me forget."
She teased, and before his ardor cooled, lowered her mouth, formed in a perfect 'O', down his length until she felt him touch the back of her throat. Her hands now braced on either side of his hips, as she leveraged herself like a piston, upon his body.
However, she stopped after a few minutes, and set out to just kiss him again. The only difference being her mouth never left the part of his body now in front of her, as her lips started out playing around his hips, and moved inward, along a spiral trail...seeking his center, once again.
As her hands sought to unfetter his pants, she kissed the soft, tight, smooth skin of his groin, alternating between feather light brushes of her lips, to swirls with her tongue and cool puffs of her breath. There wasn't enough skin for her teeth to nibble there, so she made do in other ways.
Once his pants were loosened, she slid just the tips of her fingers between his skin, and the material, and ran back and forth tugging his pants downward. Still her mouth followed her fingers and moved back and forth along the exposing flesh, as it became visible.
"Whoever said a man's body wasn't beautiful, must have never seen yours."
She whispered, in between kisses. And even with his scars, Shay only saw the beauty of his muscles, sinew, and bone, and the way they were put together.
As his pants became more difficult to move, bunching up a bit around his butt, Shay left his side just long enough to move off the couch and stand by his feet. Once she removed his shoes, and socks, she then took the hem of his pants in her hands, and tugged them down further, until they cleared all obstacles, and slid the rest of the way easily.
Once they were off, she tossed them over her shoulder, and picked up one of his feet. Holding it firmly, she began to squeeze it, and massage it between both her hands. Once she felt she had paid it appropriate homage, she did the same for the other, and ended with kisses to each of his big toes. She wasn't sure if it was an action he would find at all sensual, but that wasn't the sole reason behind it. Her agenda was to make love to the 'whole' man, and that was what she was doing.
Circling his ankles, one at a time, with both hands, Shay began running her fingers up his legs, paying more attention to his calves, and knees, than his shins. He wasn't an overly hairy man, which she liked, but he was enough so that he was quite masculine looking...and feeling.
Continuing her massage, her hands now moved up his thighs, and it was then she began using her mouth again. Each caress, and each kneading touch, was followed by a kiss, or suck, or tonguing. She loved the way he tasted, and in the middle of that thought she giggled, as it occurred to her there wasn't anything she could think of, that she didn't love about him.
She had initially thought she would now turn him over, and treat his backside to similar actions. But she could see his manhood straining upwards, pulsating with need, and altered her journey.
"Later...I'll continue on the flip side...don't let me forget."
She teased, and before his ardor cooled, lowered her mouth, formed in a perfect 'O', down his length until she felt him touch the back of her throat. Her hands now braced on either side of his hips, as she leveraged herself like a piston, upon his body.
However, she stopped after a few minutes, and set out to just kiss him again. The only difference being her mouth never left the part of his body now in front of her, as her lips started out playing around his hips, and moved inward, along a spiral trail...seeking his center, once again.
Mathias
18 years ago
He blushed at her compliments,even as her minstrations seemed to rob him of speech..capable only of grunts,groans and other more primal sounds,
Every touch,every caress and kiss set off an explosion of pleasure on his body. He shivered,shook and trembled at her touch - nervous at what the next moment would bring,but anticipating it as well. He was completely hers and he loved every moment of surrender.
Mathias involuntarily thrust as Shay's mouth covered his manhood. He craved the warm,gentle caress of her mouth and tongue and he closed his eyes against the waves of pleasure buffeting him. Again his muscles tensed and flexed,straining against the flimsy fabric restraining him.
A familiar and welcome pressure began building in Mathias, as Shay's techniques brought the release he craved so close...and then it was gone...and he cried out,begging and pleading. But whether it was to stop or continue the exquisite torment even Mathias did not know.
Every touch,every caress and kiss set off an explosion of pleasure on his body. He shivered,shook and trembled at her touch - nervous at what the next moment would bring,but anticipating it as well. He was completely hers and he loved every moment of surrender.
Mathias involuntarily thrust as Shay's mouth covered his manhood. He craved the warm,gentle caress of her mouth and tongue and he closed his eyes against the waves of pleasure buffeting him. Again his muscles tensed and flexed,straining against the flimsy fabric restraining him.
A familiar and welcome pressure began building in Mathias, as Shay's techniques brought the release he craved so close...and then it was gone...and he cried out,begging and pleading. But whether it was to stop or continue the exquisite torment even Mathias did not know.
Shay
18 years ago
Feeling he was closing in on his satisfaction, Shay slowed again, and moved her tongue to the sensitive spot further below, and pressed there...back and forth...up and down. Every inch of him was a delight to her oral sense...her tongue relishing the alternating ridges and smooth places on his skin. And just when she thought she wasn't paying enough attention elsewhere, her mouth moved back to his stem of desire, and applied the same varying pressure along its length, underneath, stopping at the spot near the tip.
She engulfed him again then, becoming even more serious about giving her love to him, in the basest way she knew. When his thrusts became completely deliberate, culminating in his release, Shay remained where she was, and drank his seed, as he had her blood.
And then the pain struck.
"Uhnnnn."
She whined, sobering up from her own rapture, but being careful not to cause him harm. To bite down now, would bring him no pleasure.
Fortunately, the pain subsided quickly, and she moaned to camouflage the previous sound. Her own fulfillment would wait for another day. Tonight she wanted to make Alexi happy. It was because of him she had any semblance of happiness in her life. She felt almost driven to give that back to him.
Feeling her weariness creeping back, she cleaned him as a mother cat would a kitten, and slowly moved back up into his arms, kissing a trail along the way. Careful not to move too quickly, she hesitated kissing him on the mouth...wondering how he would react, with traces of himself still on her lips.
Reaching up and backwards, she grabbed the afghan that was now on the back of the couch, and pulled it down. It fell half over the two of them, but she was suddenly depleted of any energy at all, and just left it there.
"If you decide you would rather lie in bed...would you carry me? I'm afraid I can't move, at the moment."
And she giggled a half giggle, as a tear rolled down one cheek. 'Damn hormones', she thought. As she didn't expect Alexi to jump up and do anything right away, she just snuggled against him, and sighed.
She engulfed him again then, becoming even more serious about giving her love to him, in the basest way she knew. When his thrusts became completely deliberate, culminating in his release, Shay remained where she was, and drank his seed, as he had her blood.
And then the pain struck.
"Uhnnnn."
She whined, sobering up from her own rapture, but being careful not to cause him harm. To bite down now, would bring him no pleasure.
Fortunately, the pain subsided quickly, and she moaned to camouflage the previous sound. Her own fulfillment would wait for another day. Tonight she wanted to make Alexi happy. It was because of him she had any semblance of happiness in her life. She felt almost driven to give that back to him.
Feeling her weariness creeping back, she cleaned him as a mother cat would a kitten, and slowly moved back up into his arms, kissing a trail along the way. Careful not to move too quickly, she hesitated kissing him on the mouth...wondering how he would react, with traces of himself still on her lips.
Reaching up and backwards, she grabbed the afghan that was now on the back of the couch, and pulled it down. It fell half over the two of them, but she was suddenly depleted of any energy at all, and just left it there.
"If you decide you would rather lie in bed...would you carry me? I'm afraid I can't move, at the moment."
And she giggled a half giggle, as a tear rolled down one cheek. 'Damn hormones', she thought. As she didn't expect Alexi to jump up and do anything right away, she just snuggled against him, and sighed.
Mathias
18 years ago
After Shay's teasing and torment,his release was a blessed relief. Mathias body tensed and he involuntarily thrust himself deep into her willing mouth. Electric fire coursed over his body as wave after wave pleasure shook him.
An eternity later,Mathias finally relaxed and a very warm Shay climbed into his arms. He was glad for it, having no energy after that particular experience. It was a source of ceaseless joy how Shay could coax such a response from him. Truly,she was a giving lover and Mathias thankful for whatever brought her into his life.
And yet...something still seemed amiss,as if she was hiding something from him. There was nothing specific he could target,no one incident,but the nagging feeling wouldn't go away. After sharing so much,what could Shay possibly feel she needed to hide from him?
They lay there for a time,quietly enjoying each other's warmth and weight - and still Mathias mind could find no peace. the questions swirled and danced...and he knew he had to ask...
"Shay,is there something wrong?"
An eternity later,Mathias finally relaxed and a very warm Shay climbed into his arms. He was glad for it, having no energy after that particular experience. It was a source of ceaseless joy how Shay could coax such a response from him. Truly,she was a giving lover and Mathias thankful for whatever brought her into his life.
And yet...something still seemed amiss,as if she was hiding something from him. There was nothing specific he could target,no one incident,but the nagging feeling wouldn't go away. After sharing so much,what could Shay possibly feel she needed to hide from him?
They lay there for a time,quietly enjoying each other's warmth and weight - and still Mathias mind could find no peace. the questions swirled and danced...and he knew he had to ask...
"Shay,is there something wrong?"
Shay
18 years ago
The dreaded words. The words she expected to hear, but kept trying to believe might not come.
...is there something wrong...
Lying was not an option. Evading was, for Shay didn't believe it to be the same. The problem was how was she to go about evading him, without stirring up more concern, or curiosity. She had thought about this already. Alexi loved her, there was no doubt in her mind. Thus, if he suspected anything, of course he would inquire.
With all her thoughts on the matter, she had never quite come up with a plan, however. And now she was faced with needing one.
"There is...something. It is nothing pertaining to you though, please don't worry. There is nothing in my heart that has changed. You still hold it, and unless something I don't foresee occurs, you will have it forever."
Not daring to look at him, her cheek rested on his chest, and her eyes focused across the room. She reached up and tenderly stroked his jaw with her knuckle, as she tried to put some words together for him. Finally she concluded there were no words.
"I need you to let it go for now though. I won't lie to you, and I cannot talk about it to you, yet."
Why was she so hesitant to tell him? Was it because she feared him blowing it off, and thereby diminishing the importance of it. Realistically, she didn't see him doing that, even if he couldn't empathize with the magnitude of the pain it caused her to bear. More so, she thought he would try to convince her it didn't matter. They could live their lives without children, and still be happy. Hell...for all she knew, he hated kids, and it would have only created problems for the two of them anyway.
Once she had grown to accept it herself, and was more settled with the knowledge, she would be in a position to tell him.
"For now...would you just hold me, and tell me that you love me as much as I love you. And...maybe tell me about who Alexi was, as a small boy...?"
Shay wondered if memories hundreds of years in the making, would still be there for him. Did a vampire's mind grow stale, as a human's did...did it take longer, if so...would he still be able to see the small Alexi he had once been? Shay was thirsty for this vision, for some reason.
Now able to look at him, she tilted her head up, and kissed his neck, before moving back, and waiting.
...is there something wrong...
Lying was not an option. Evading was, for Shay didn't believe it to be the same. The problem was how was she to go about evading him, without stirring up more concern, or curiosity. She had thought about this already. Alexi loved her, there was no doubt in her mind. Thus, if he suspected anything, of course he would inquire.
With all her thoughts on the matter, she had never quite come up with a plan, however. And now she was faced with needing one.
"There is...something. It is nothing pertaining to you though, please don't worry. There is nothing in my heart that has changed. You still hold it, and unless something I don't foresee occurs, you will have it forever."
Not daring to look at him, her cheek rested on his chest, and her eyes focused across the room. She reached up and tenderly stroked his jaw with her knuckle, as she tried to put some words together for him. Finally she concluded there were no words.
"I need you to let it go for now though. I won't lie to you, and I cannot talk about it to you, yet."
Why was she so hesitant to tell him? Was it because she feared him blowing it off, and thereby diminishing the importance of it. Realistically, she didn't see him doing that, even if he couldn't empathize with the magnitude of the pain it caused her to bear. More so, she thought he would try to convince her it didn't matter. They could live their lives without children, and still be happy. Hell...for all she knew, he hated kids, and it would have only created problems for the two of them anyway.
Once she had grown to accept it herself, and was more settled with the knowledge, she would be in a position to tell him.
"For now...would you just hold me, and tell me that you love me as much as I love you. And...maybe tell me about who Alexi was, as a small boy...?"
Shay wondered if memories hundreds of years in the making, would still be there for him. Did a vampire's mind grow stale, as a human's did...did it take longer, if so...would he still be able to see the small Alexi he had once been? Shay was thirsty for this vision, for some reason.
Now able to look at him, she tilted her head up, and kissed his neck, before moving back, and waiting.
Mathias
18 years ago
Mathias sighed. He had known it - just something seemed 'off' . And while he was not worried about her love, it still troubled him that she felt the need to hide something,even for the best of reasons. Just as you told her about being a vampire,right? Annabelle's voice teased him. that was different he thought,not entirely believing his own words.
As concerned as he was, and much as Mathias yearned to find out and make it right - he knew that she was right. Shay had to be comfortable sharing her problem with him,and that would happen when it did. She had given Mathias the space *You ran* but Shay had allowed him to come to grips and so would he.
"Of course love, whenever, if ever you are ready I will be here to listen."
That he could do very easily. He gently kissed the top of Shay's head and lay back, his mind traveling down a road 1100 years in the past.
"My parents were ambassadors to the Emperor. While they attended him,in the court of Constantinople, I played with the children of nobles. I wandered the streets,a curious,impetuous boy. both places were equally classroom and laboratory. I learned the art of haggling from a snaggle toothed merchant named Othman The Beautiful. While perhaps not the most pleasant to gaze upon,Othman would get the last coin from even the most recalcitrant customer."
Mathias smiled,he had not thought about Othman in a long time. He wondered how his family was, and whatever became of the,...such a long time to not follow up on one's friends.
"There is...something. It is nothing pertaining to you though, please don't worry. There is nothing in my heart that has changed. You still hold it, and unless something I don't foresee occurs, you will have it forever."
Mathias sighed. He had known it - just something seemed 'off' . And while he was not worried about her love, it still troubled him that she felt the need to hide something,even for the best of reasons. Just as you told her about being a vampire,right? Annabelle's voice teased him. that was different he thought,not entirely believing his own words.
"I need you to let it go for now though. I won't lie to you, and I cannot talk about it to you, yet."
As concerned as he was, and much as Mathias yearned to find out and make it right - he knew that she was right. Shay had to be comfortable sharing her problem with him,and that would happen when it did. She had given Mathias the space *You ran* but Shay had allowed him to come to grips and so would he.
"Of course love, whenever, if ever you are ready I will be here to listen."
"For now...would you just hold me, and tell me that you love me as much as I love you. And...maybe tell me about who Alexi was, as a small boy...?"
That he could do very easily. He gently kissed the top of Shay's head and lay back, his mind traveling down a road 1100 years in the past.
"My parents were ambassadors to the Emperor. While they attended him,in the court of Constantinople, I played with the children of nobles. I wandered the streets,a curious,impetuous boy. both places were equally classroom and laboratory. I learned the art of haggling from a snaggle toothed merchant named Othman The Beautiful. While perhaps not the most pleasant to gaze upon,Othman would get the last coin from even the most recalcitrant customer."
Mathias smiled,he had not thought about Othman in a long time. He wondered how his family was, and whatever became of the,...such a long time to not follow up on one's friends.
Shay
18 years ago
Relieved that he wasn't pressing her, Shay still felt the weight of keeping something from Alexi. She could hardly hold him accountable for confiding in her, under the circumstances. Maybe it wouldn't be long before she could share her problem. Until she had, she knew there would be a constant conflict within herself.
Yet being in his arms, was the best place to be, even with her secret. The feel of him, the smell of him, the sound of him around her, all combined to create a cocoon of love and security. She now knew this safe haven would allow her to build up the reserves she needed to go on with her life.
Truthfully...she also recognized had Alexi not been a part of her life, she may have opted not to continue with it now. She would have had no reason to. At least no reason she was currently aware of, nor foresaw for the future. Her existence, as she had seen would not have had any purpose.
She squeezed Alexi to her, just wanting to remind herself that he was a part of her now. And she did have a reason to live.
"How exciting that must have been, for a little boy - to have that kind of freedom to explore, and learn."
And she smiled as she pictured him with dirt smudged on his nose, and standing in the market place, a tear in the knee of his pants from rough housing...hair tousled. She squeezed him again, and planted a kiss upon his chest.
"How was Alexi the student...did you get formal schooling as well as the street lessons? When you became a teenager, were you popular with the girls? Were you a stubborn boy, or an agreeable one?"
His life had been so completely different from anything Shay could possibly imagine, yet she had to think somethings would never change...or would they? Whatever the case, Shay wished she had grown up with him...seen how he went from being that small boy, and became the man he was today. Even the unpleasant parts of his life...helped to make him the one she loved.
Yet being in his arms, was the best place to be, even with her secret. The feel of him, the smell of him, the sound of him around her, all combined to create a cocoon of love and security. She now knew this safe haven would allow her to build up the reserves she needed to go on with her life.
Truthfully...she also recognized had Alexi not been a part of her life, she may have opted not to continue with it now. She would have had no reason to. At least no reason she was currently aware of, nor foresaw for the future. Her existence, as she had seen would not have had any purpose.
She squeezed Alexi to her, just wanting to remind herself that he was a part of her now. And she did have a reason to live.
"How exciting that must have been, for a little boy - to have that kind of freedom to explore, and learn."
And she smiled as she pictured him with dirt smudged on his nose, and standing in the market place, a tear in the knee of his pants from rough housing...hair tousled. She squeezed him again, and planted a kiss upon his chest.
"How was Alexi the student...did you get formal schooling as well as the street lessons? When you became a teenager, were you popular with the girls? Were you a stubborn boy, or an agreeable one?"
His life had been so completely different from anything Shay could possibly imagine, yet she had to think somethings would never change...or would they? Whatever the case, Shay wished she had grown up with him...seen how he went from being that small boy, and became the man he was today. Even the unpleasant parts of his life...helped to make him the one she loved.
Mathias
18 years ago
" I did have a tutor,two actually. My first was a pinch faced old hag brought with us from Kiev. She was..I believe the term is intense."
He chuckled. Anya had been a mean rapacious woman who seemed to live to torment Alexi. He was glad when a family crisis called her away.
"After she left,Stavros was assigned to us - he was a greek and full of interesting ideas and views. He constantly challenged me to defend my beliefs and not simply accept them. I learned a lot from him,and owe a great deal of who I am to those late night arguments."
He chuckled. Anya had been a mean rapacious woman who seemed to live to torment Alexi. He was glad when a family crisis called her away.
"After she left,Stavros was assigned to us - he was a greek and full of interesting ideas and views. He constantly challenged me to defend my beliefs and not simply accept them. I learned a lot from him,and owe a great deal of who I am to those late night arguments."